Simple on Purpose | Intentional Living and Parenting

129. Does your ‘to-do list’ overwhelm you? Expectation overwhelm and how to handle it.


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Expectation overwhelm is when you have a to-do list that is so long that it overwhelms you. This starts a defeating cycle of hustling, beating ourselves up for not doing 'enough', and not really feeling empowered to live a life of purpose. 
 
Feeling productive and the beliefs we have about how we spend our time
Coach women a lot on productivity and procrastination
They feel like they can’t get things done in the day
They want to be better at getting things done. 
And it is the same issue on both ends of the spectrum - they are about how we FEEL about how we spend our time.  Did we FEEL we were productive? did we FEEL they procrastinated?
Remember our FEELINGS come from our thoughts. So the story we tell ourselves about how we have used our time is going to matter. It will change our experience of how we use our time. 
 
What is expectation overwhelm?
Expectation overwhelm is when we have such a long 'should do' list that it constantly overwhelms us. We walk around thinking something is wrong with us that we can't tackle. We think we need more willpower and discipline. 
We also get frustrated with everyone around us and might even blame them (check out the mom martyr episode) 
 
Some signs that you might have expectation overwhelm:
you find it hard to relax for a minute in your day
you feel like everything is rushed
you feel overwhelmed even though you generally get things done
you check things off your list but still feel like it’s never enough
 
What do we do with the overwhelm we feel?
In my experience in coaching, and personal experience. WE do one of two things. We try harder or we tune it out. Both of these make us feel even worse about our skills and discipline. Both of these move us further away from the simple and purposeful life we are craving. 
 
The options should be optional
We make a mental 'should' do list with all the expectations we have ourselves in a day. But we tell ourselves this list is mandatory and then we tell ourselves we are inadequate for not fulfilling them all
 
We are meant to make choices
This is something that minimalism has taught me. I don't have ROOM for all these things. I also don't have time and energy for all these things. I need to choose. 
But making choices can be very intimidating for a lot of us. We think it means a long-term commitment. We also still secretly hold out for that secret we need to unlock our ability to do ALL THE THINGS!
 
Trade-in productivity for purpose
I think most of us want to feel productive, but we live in a society that tells us we need to do DO IT ALL AND LOOK GOOD DOING IT. 
I would argue that most of us do not want to be productivity robots - but that we actually want to slow down and live the life that we crave. We want to let go of never feeling like we are enough, and make more time and energy for the things that fill us up. 
 
Know what you want in your life
The Live your Vision worksheets
The Live your Values worksheets
The Life on Purpose Workbook 
 
Get life coaching 
If you want coaching support with letting go of expectations and getting focussed on what you DO want to make time and energy for, then sign up for a consult call to see if you are interested. 
 
Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I may earn a commission. 
SIMPLE PLEASURE OF THE WEEK
I will tell you it is about kiddie pools and water blasters, but it is about more than that. It is about tradition and having fun, and being a kid with your kids. 
This is the XL doggie pool that we use as a kiddie pool
 
And these are the type of water blasters that we are loving in our home.
Here is the grad shirt idea. 
 
 
Make sure to join the Simple on Purpose Facebook community group to share your thoughts, questions, and ideas with the Simple Squad there. 
 
 
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Simple on Purpose | Intentional Living and ParentingBy Shawna Scafe, Professional Counsellor

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