Safety, trust, and vulnerability. These are some of the pillars of long-term relationships. That is why infidelity could inflict a deep wound within us - for betrayal stands at the opposite end of what relationships stand for: open-heartedness, transparency, and communication. Licensed marriage & family therapist Jennifer Lehr is the founder and owner of WeConcile, through which she helps couples heal from pain and reconnect in their relationships. She stresses that infidelity is such a powerful force that it completely changes a relationship - but through work, transparency, and the willingness to own up to vulnerabilities, couples may be able to reconcile and begin their relationship anew.

In this episode, Jennifer and I explore the different aspects of betrayal in relationships. We highlight the difference between privacy and secrecy and explain how the latter can become destructive to a relationship. We discuss whether the cheated person should ask detailed questions about an affair. We also underscore the role of transparency and vulnerability in healing and reconciliation after a betrayal and emphasize the importance of supporting each other’s growth in a relationship.

 

“Infidelity is a tsunami - it completely changes the landscape of a relationship. Rebuilding is a definite process that involves responsibility and remorse, and transparency.” - Jennifer Lehr

 

This week on Relationships! Let’s Talk About It:

• The slippery slope of emotional infidelity
• The many forms of betrayal
• Creating safety and trust in long-term relationships
• Taking ownership of infidelity and how defensiveness makes betrayal challenging to heal
• The difference between privacy versus secrecy and their relationship to trust
• The importance of cultivating reliability
• The need for transparency after infidelity
• Why it takes so long to rebuild trust after a betrayal
• Grieving and mourning a relationship after an affair
• Working through patterns and histories of cheating
• Being a grown-up and aligning with our integrity
• How secrecy can be a form of control and manipulation
• Jennifer’s philosophy of reconciliation and rebuilding trust after infidelity
• Accepting remorse and how it’s different from forgiveness
• Influencing the precipitating factors of infidelity
• The role of a couple’s therapist in rebuilding trust in relationships
• How defensiveness creates a break in the progress of healing
• The reason power and control moves are a form of betrayal

 

Related Content:

• Emotional Infidelity: Is It Really Cheating?
• Having Privacy vs. Keeping Secrets
• Building Trust in Relationships

 

Connect with Jennifer Lehr:

• WeConcile
• WeConcile on LinkedIn
• WeConcile on Instagram
• WeConcile on Facebook
• WeConcile on Twitter
• WeConcile on YouTube
• Jennifer Lehr
• Jennifer Lehr on LinkedIn
• Jennifer Lehr on Facebook
• Jennifer Lehr on YouTube
• Jennifer Lehr on Twitter

 

Let’s Talk About It!

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Theme music “These Streets” provided by Adi the Monk