The Values Sort

#13 Enjoyment of life


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Okay, I’ll be honest. I looked at this card and thought, “Didn’t we just do this?”

Card #12 was Pleasure. Card #13 is Enjoyment of Life. They sit right next to each other under the banner of Hedonism. Full disclosure, the next card in the deck is “Self Indulgence”

And frankly, I want to skip them. I want to fast-forward to the Blue cards, (just you wait). The “Benevolence” cards. The “Universalism” cards. Give me True Friendship or Helpfulness. That’s my speed. That’s where I feel at home.

I don’t personally see “Enjoyment of Life” as a core value of mine, certainly not in comparison with love, kindness, generosity, or forgiveness. To me, “Enjoyment” feels optional. Service feels essential.

But the deck doesn’t let you skip. So I have to ask: Why is this card here?

Maybe it’s because Service without Enjoyment is just Martyrdom.

And nobody likes a self-martyring servant.

Think about it. If I bake you a biscuit, but I am miserable, sighing, and resentful while I do it, that biscuit is going to taste like guilt. You won’t enjoy eating it because you’ll feel the weight of my unhappiness. It becomes a transaction, not a gift. I’ve seen this a hundred times, in person, in my pwn business. The coffee just tastes better when it’s produced with a happy heart. I cannot account for it.

If I bake you a biscuit and I am genuinely enjoying the process—the flour, the heat, the smell, the act of giving—that biscuit tastes like love.

If Pleasure is the act of eating the cookie, Enjoyment of Life is the attitude that lets you bake it.

I still struggle to prioritize it. I still feel guilty sitting on the porch when there are chores to do. I still feel like “Enjoyment” is something I should save for retirement.

But I’m starting to see that if I want to be a “Safe Place” for others (which is my real goal), I have to be a relatively happy place for myself first.

A miserable host makes for anxious guests.

So, perhaps Enjoyment of Life isn’t a selfish detour from my values of Kindness and Generosity. Maybe it is the essential ingredient that makes those values edible to others.

I’m ready for the Blue cards now. But I think I’ll take a minute to enjoy this coffee first. Just for me.



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The Values SortBy A series of indeterminate length exploring the core things that drive us.