There are four primary boundaries: the physical boundary, the sexual boundary, the speaking/talking boundary, and the listening boundary. Today’s episode is the first in a four-part series in which I’ll cover each of these boundaries in turn. Before digging into the physical boundary in detail, though, I’ll cover some basics of these primary boundaries in general, so don’t miss this episode.

One deeply important point that I’ll cover but want to reiterate here is that physical boundaries are non-negotiable; a “no” is a “no.” This applies both to you and to other people, meaning that other people need to respect your boundaries around respecting your personal space and touching you and your belongings, and you need to do the same for them. Keep in mind that this applies to everyone—yes, even your relatives or your spouse.

 

Biggest Takeaways From Episode #13:

• Boundaries from all four of the primary categories are doing one of two things: protecting yourself from someone or something else, or protecting another person from you.

• We each experience the four primary boundaries on a continuum reaching from not having enough of that boundary (meaning you’re unprotected or too vulnerable) to having too much of that boundary or too many boundaries (meaning you’re too protected or figuratively behind a wall). When your boundaries are in balance, you know how to feel protected and be appropriately vulnerable at the same time.

• You are the one who gets to decide how close you want to be to other people physically. When your physical boundaries are operating well, you let others know how close they can get to you physically and you determine the access they have to your physical belongings—and respect the same from them.

Highlights from Episode #13:

Welcome to this episode, which is all about physical boundaries. Victoria shares some recommendations for how to proceed if this is your first episode. [00:31]

This is the first episode in a four-part series about the primary boundaries. [03:57]

Victoria offers some information that applies to all four of the primary boundaries, and shares a personal example of how boundaries can protect others from you. [06:08]

We learn that the four primary boundaries are experienced on a continuum. [10:33]

Victoria explains that the boundaries continuum would look like an oval rather than a straight line. [13:56]

We hear examples to illustrate how someone can be on two ends of the continuum for the same boundary. [16:42]

Victoria starts the explanation specifically around physical boundaries. [18:06]

What does it look like when you’re protecting others with your physical boundaries? [22:28]

Physical (and sexual) boundaries being non-negotiable is true even with a spouse. [24:16]

Victoria talks about separation and divorce, and how they relate to your physical boundary. [26:03]

We hear some examples of what physical boundary violations or broken physical boundaries look like. [29:06]

Victoria recaps the points she has covered today and mentions that you can get information about all four primary boundaries in her new book Personal Boundaries for Dummies[31:19]

 

Links and Resources:

• Personal Boundaries For Dummies on Amazon

• Victoria Priya

• 6-Step Boundaries Clarifier FREE eWorkbook

• Boundaries Queen Podcast Episode 7: Step 1: Start With Knowing What Isn’t Working

• Boundaries Queen Podcast Episode 1: Getting Started With Boundaries

• Beyond Bitchy Podcast

• Beyond Bitchy Podcast three-part “Listening Boundary” series: 

• The Listening Boundary Part 1

• The Listening Boundary Part 2 (How It Works)

• The Listening Boundary Part 3: High Quality Listening = Higher Quality Responses