In my experience, influencing is like any other skill. You get better at it as you practise it more, and get more experience. For me, it’s always been a mix of being able to really listen, put yourself in other people’s shoes, build genuine and authentic relationships and be naturally curious. 

Note how not once did I mention….and then you ask for something!

For me those skills are the foundational skills and traits of brilliant influencers, who can take others on a journey with them and build relationships of trust.