The desiccated husk of Sylvester Stallone is releasing a final chapter in the Rambo series, so we're going to where it started going off the rails: Rambo: First Blood II!

How stupid is this title? Is Rambo a Mary Sue? Why doesn't this movie have a proper sidekick? What's Stallone's Vietnam obsession? Is this the worst love story in the history of feature film? Just how many knives is Sylvester Stallone in possession of? Does anyone in this movie understand show, don't tell? Plus, a serious diversion and discussion on Beauty and the Beast's Gaston and the logistics of his 60 eggs PER DAY!

All this and more!