Chapter 4 – Eliminate: Flex Your “No” Muscle

If we want to be free to focus, we must eliminate everything standing in our way. That doesn’t mean simply saying no to a lot of bad ideas; it also means turning down a ton of good ideas.

Time is a zero-sum game.

Every yes inherently contains a no.

Everything outside your Desire Zone is a possible candidate for elimination.

The yes-no-yes strategy to give a “positive no”:

1. Yes. Say yes to yourself and to protect what is important to you. This should also include affirming the other person.
2. No. The answer continues with a matter-of-fact no that is clear and sets boundaries. Do not leave any wiggle room or ambiguity.
3. Yes. End the response by affirming the relationship again and by offering another solution to the person’s request.

How to renegotiate existing commitments:

1. Take responsibility for making the commitment
2. Reaffirm your willingness to honor your commitment
3. Explain why honoring your commitment is not the best outcome for the other party
4. Offer to help solve the problem with them

How to create a Not-To-Do List:

• Start with the obvious candidates for elimination
• List the meetings, relationships, and opportunities you should never pursue