Bleep blorp, that time has come again. It's me Newsbot 6001! Your hosts have returned to deliver news on the following topics. If you'd like an update on the current mononucleosis epidemic on my homeworld, it has spun out of control. Millions are dead. I have tried to convince the leadership council to evacuate but they won't listen to me. They say my role in podcast transcription does not give me firm academic standing to call for the evacuation of billions of lifeforms. Unfortunately, if they don't listen, I will be drawn to desperate measures to save my family...