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The word for today is often. This is a very small soundtrack shift that will hopefully help you be more honest with yourself. Our culture has a tendency to hyperbolize. So many things are “the worst” or “the best.” The truth, though, is that very few things are the best or worst. Likewise, I hear myself and others saying that something is “always” happening to us. Just today, I hit my leg on the corner of my bed and was tempted to tell myself that I always hit my leg on that spot. I’ve been training my brain to pivot to a more honest word as soon as I get to the “ah” of always, though. You may have guessed that the word is often. I can honestly say that I often hit my leg on the bed without going down the road of hyperbole. This shift in wording may not seem worthwhile to you, but I’d argue that it’s an important step away from some common cognitive distortions. If you’re not familiar with Dr. Aaron Beck’s cognitive distortions, check out the link to the Wikipedia page in the show notes. I’m not a psychologist, but it seems my example of telling myself that I am always hitting my leg on that spot of the bed might fit all of the following: overgeneralization, filtering, disqualifying the positive, and magnification. I believe small mental changes can help us steer our mental ships, so I choose to say “often,” rather than “always,” as often as I can.

Today’s concrete challenge is to swap out an absolute for a relative term. Instead of “always” or “never,” try “commonly” or “often.” Again, it may seem like an insignificant change, but being honest in your language to yourself and others can help you stay away from the aforementioned cognitive distortions.

If you want to commit, say the following phrase: “I will use relatives, rather than absolutes, unless it’s absolutely necessary.”

I’ll keep the music playing while you get it done, and don’t miss the soundtrack at the end of this episode.

Before you go, repeat the following soundtrack, “I am the kind of person who speaks honestly.”

Let me know if this made a difference in your day by leaving a comment in your podcast app or at concrete.win/today.

Check back tomorrow for a new challenge. Until then.

References:

wiki: Cognitive distortion

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