Single You "The Podcast"

148. Why Can’t We Pull Our Men Up? (Guest J.Hall)

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Relationships, Statistics, and Self-Exploration: Unveiling Truths about Dating (each other) for Black Men and Women. An argument as to why we should give the bus driver a chance. 


In this thought-provoking podcast episode hosted by Reka Robinson, she engages in a candid conversation with J. Hall about the complexities of relationships, the influence of statistics in dating, and the dynamics surrounding Black men and women. Together, they delve into the following thought-provoking questions:

  1. Should we base our choices on relationship statistics or on the reality we experience? Reka and J. Hall ponder the implications of relying solely on statistical data when it comes to dating and whether it aligns with personal experiences and individual needs. And where does faith come in?
  2. Nurturing Black men: Reka and J. Hall examine the idea of supporting and uplifting Black men. They question whether assumptions about their strengths and comfort levels hinder our ability to truly understand their needs and desires. The importance of open communication and asking questions is emphasized.
  3. Room for questions: The conversation navigates around whether Black men allow space for questioning, or if their ego obstructs genuine dialogue. Exploring the facets of self-discovery, they wonder if Black men truly explore the potential of the man they aspire to become. Why can’t we call our men up? 
  4. Acknowledging collective struggles: J. Hall shares his newfound understanding that the challenges faced by women in their interactions with men impact society as a whole. “I use to say that sucks for you, now I know it sucks for us.”
  5. The path to healing: Reka opens up about her personal journey, revealing that she believes true healing can only be achieved by embracing the discomfort and vulnerability that comes with building relationships. She wonders if she will be able to reach that point with a Black man. Can we get past that wall?
  6. Financial stability and trust: The discussion shifts to the topic of financial stability and its impact on dating within the Black community. Reka and J. Hall question whether Black men should refrain from dating until they achieve financial stability and whether Black women are expected to meet them at the bottom as a way to gain their trust.
  7. Reflecting truths: Reka shares her belief that she has the ability to make men confront their own selves, which can be uncomfortable for them, leading to avoidance. Which is why they run and why relationships never work out for her. 

    8. Throughout the episode, Reka and J. Hall provide listeners with an engaging and thought-provoking dialogue that challenges preconceived notions about relationships, explores the dynamics between Black men and women, and encourages a deeper understanding of oneself and others.

    • You can find J.Hall here.
    • His Blog here.
    • The episode of 'The Good Girl Podcast' we mention is here.
    • The history of being Black; here.

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