"Blamers ask questions like: Why do umpires/coaches keep messing up my sports life? I just wish the umpires would quit making bad calls on me. Why can’t people see it’s not my fault? I didn’t do anything wrong! Those who choose to learn from upsetting situations initially look at themselves and ask quality questions like: What part of this situation is my responsibility? What is one thing I can learn from this? What’s another thing I can learn from this? What is one first step I can take to fix this trouble spot?"

Greg Warburton is a mental conditioning training coach and had a 39 year career in counseling. We also co-wrote the book Ask More Tell Less for Coaches: The practical guide to mastering coach-athlete communication.