You paused. You gave yourself a moment before you answered. And then — almost immediately — guilt showed up like you'd done something wrong.

In this episode, Dr. Phyllis Hayes-Reams sits with the feeling that shows up after the pause — the guilt that comes the second you try to choose yourself. She names it plainly, teaches the difference between two kinds of guilt, and gives you one question you can use the next time you're in the middle of the spiral.

This is not a conversation about doing less. It's a conversation about learning to read what the guilt is actually telling you — and choosing your way through it instead of obeying it.

If you've ever paused, tried to choose differently, and immediately felt like you did something wrong — this episode was made for you.

This week’s reflection:

When guilt shows up after you choose yourself, pause and ask: “Did I do something wrong, or did I simply do something different?”

In this episode:

(0:00) Investing in everyone except yourself

(2:43) Choosing versus reacting

(4:44) Making a real inner investment

(6:22) The two types of guilt

(10:19) Wrongdoing versus growth

(11:20) Dr. Phyllis shares her personal story

(15:16) Why the “right season” may never come

(17:06) Faith, responsibility, and releasing others’ burdens

(19:08) The two-question guilt check-in

(21:03) Becoming faithful to your own soul

(23:26) “What’s Yours to Carry and What Isn’t” resource

Your next step is already waiting: a guide called What’s Yours to Carry — and What Isn’t, made to walk you through your own plate and help you start sorting this is mine from this was never mine. Go get it at thebelowthecircle.com.

Nothing has been wasted. It’s not too late to land — whole, aligned, free.

———

Get your guide → thebelowthecircle.com

Below the Circle with Dr. Phyllis · Stop circling. Start landing. 🕊️

Scripture:

• Galatians 6:5 — "For each one shall carry his own load."
• Psalm 46:10 — "Cease striving, and know that I am God."