The story of the Garden of Eden is confusing to children and adults alike: why were Adam and Eve so unceremoniously tossed out of paradise naked? Why was knowledge forbidden? One interpretation, Psalm 51:5 says "I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive me." Was it because they had sex? This interpretation caused a lot of angst-ridden Christian teenagers throughout history. But Romans 5:12–21 provides a cryptic but more accurate explanation: "Therefore, just as sin entered the world through one man, and death through sin, and in this way death came to all people, because all sinned.” To understand this, you must see through the “sin” part and delve into what they were talking about: innocence. A child is innocent because it knows nothing, has no ambitions, and no comprehension of life. The wise men that wrote the Bible were using Eden as a metaphor for this naive & immature state of being.

However, innocents, following their basic instincts, would rape, steal & murder their brethren, just as animals do. They would feel jealous, envious & resentful, which becomes malevolence, more so than animals. No societies can form because the innocent have no ambition to do anything but serve their primordial needs. To become productive members of society, innocents must eat the apple, which means be indoctrinated not to do these things, and what things to do instead. Jesus in the indoctrinator, thereby “saving” them. It actually all makes sense when explained so plainly, and makes me wonder why they didn’t just write it like that the first time?