How do you go from sitting on the couch staring at your phone to DOING the THING you said you WANTED to be doing? I want to teach you how to spot AMBIVALENCE and how to address it, so you can go through the steps of moving from ambivalent to ambitious and feel ready and motivated to make the changes you want in your life. 

 

I reference the 'last episode' and since I recorded this episode earlier, this is the 'last episode' on Habit Refinement that I am referring to. 

What is ambivalence? 

Ambivalence is being of two minds, you want it and you don't. Ambivalence distances us from making change - sometimes this distance is helpful and sometimes it just keeps us stuck 

The steps of moving from ambivalent to ambitious 

Waking up to your life and becoming aware of our dissatisfaction and/or our desires. This can be a very uncomfortable stage that requires humility and bravery to address. Ambivalence shows up here with a defense for the status quo

Willingness to make a change, and the most important thing required here is honesty on if you are in fact WILLING to make the change and go through the change process

A sense of capability. We expect ourselves to be innately capable of making changes and overlook the fact that making change takes layers of skills we need to develop and hone. 

Change takes more than just discipline and motivation

I wanted to lay all of this foundation out because it is worth acknowledging what it actually takes to be ready to make a change. We often think we just need motivation and discipline and then change will be innate. But it takes so much more, particularly paying attention to the stories we are telling ourselves and what we really truly want and are willing to do. 

 

Help yourself move from ambivalent to ambitious

What am I dissatisfied with here? What is my part in it? What is in MY control?

What do I want, what do I desire? What doubts come up for me here?

Am I willing to make this change, and go through this process?

What skills do I have that will help me? What skills do I think I will need to work on developing? Am I willing to do that?

 

Episodes mentioned

150. A new approach to habit change: routine and habit refinement

139. Are you TOO comfortable? And what is it costing you?

140. Give your discomfort a purpose #uncomfortableonpurpose

 

FULL TRANSCRIPT (unedited)

0:06

Hey friends, it's Shawn, your nerdy girlfriend life coach from simple on purpose.ca Welcome to the simple purpose podcast. If you are a simple on purpose podcast listener returning again, Welcome, friend. So glad that you were here coming back time and time again, I love spending this time with you. And if you're new here, welcome around here around simple on purpose. And we're all about finding ways to make your life more simple and more purposeful, so you can show up for the things that really matter to you.

0:32

In this new year, we're talking about things like intentions and personal values and habits. And I want to keep building on this topic because I don't want you to lose momentum. If you are feeling like this is on your brain making some changes looking at your habits, then I want to help keep stoking that fire so to speak. In the last episode, we talked about going through your daily habits that you already have and starting to refine them.

0:58

And that was a really powerful exercise for me, I did that as I was writing those notes for the show. And I've kept my notes in my notes app on my phone. And I'm going back to them. And I'm still looking at like my daily habits and how I want to be altering them a little bit. I found it really helpful. For instance, I'm already spending less time on my phone in the morning and a little bit more time with my planner, kind of figuring out what I want my life to look like instead of looking at what other people's lives looks like. There are worksheets with that last episode.