When I reflect upon my parenting style, I might describe it as a tale of two fathers. I am laid back, indifferent, casual, and often silly for large swathes. I enjoy making my kids laugh and don’t take myself too seriously. I encourage them to take risks, work hard, and have independence. I think I do alright.

The flip side of my parenting comes in my wrath. In electrical engineering, there is a graph called a “step function” where there is a sudden, disjointed jump in the line. Unlike the graphs you may have studied in high school math, these graphs change suddenly on a point—not gradually. This is how I often describe my anger. After a long lead-time of patience for ignored instructions, my mood changes suddenly. My voice sharpens, and my face turns serious. The children know that I now mean business.

If you were to observe my family, your impressions of my parenting method may vary wildly depending on when you saw us, but in either case, you, as a witness, are missing the larger context. I am neither entirely goofy and fun-loving nor completely strict and demanding. My parenting mechanisms change to meet the present scenario while weighing my historical experiences to decide what is best needed at that time.

God the Father is a more perfect example of this style of parenting. Indeed, the differences seen in the Bible can be so stark that it’s common for believers to struggle with reconciling the Old Testament God of judgment as the same sacrificial God of love, exemplified through Jesus. It is undoubtedly a favorite contrast for cynics and antagonists to attack. However, much like your impressions of my parenting style, it would be imprudent for us to draw conclusions about God in microcosmic contexts.

Let’s review a couple of examples. Jeremiah 3 opens with God chastising the nation of Judah (the southern half of Israel). He compares the nation to a woman leaving her husband and sleeping with other men but expects to return to the marriage. He asks “But you have lived as a prostitute with many lovers—would you now return to me?” (Jeremiah 3:1, NIV) It’s obvious that God’s wrath is being poured out in force. Judah’s destruction is imminent and God is allowing it to happen. This is, sadly, what most people think the Old Testament is mostly about.

But, if we stay in the Old Testament, we see a much different tone from God elsewhere. Zephaniah 3:15 says, “The Lord has taken away the judgments against you; he has cleared away your enemies” (ESV). Same God, same nation, different time periods, and different responses. We must be catching God on a “good day.”

The judgment we see from the “Old Testament” God are the snippets where God reaches His Holy step function inflection point. While we read the Bible, it is easy to gloss over the generations of time that separate written events. We can read thousands of years of history within a couple of months—there is a lot of missing detail. So, who are we to suppose that the highlights we read are the exhaustive list of failures God has endured? Child sacrifice, rampant prostitution, and rape are all contextually alluded to through the ceremonies by which Israelites worshiped other gods. Thousands of lost lives through abuse, murder, and war only require a few biblical verses. I am much convinced that if we were to witness the total depravity as God saw it, in history’s real-time, we would have agreed with His decisions and judgments. We would sympathize with our angry Father.

Also, like a good parent, God sticks with His people. We reread time and time the many ways God offers Israelites, gentiles, and even enemies the opportunity to repent and submit themselves in humility. He is longsuffering and forbearing for our sake. (2 Peter 3)

A notable exception may come from His desire to create a new nation after the Israelites created a golden calf as an idol at the base of Mount Sinai. (Exodus 32) Moses intercedes on their behalf to turn God from His anger. That would seem like evidence contrary to my previous claim, right? 

I’ll use one final example to present an alternative understanding. Once, my youngest son broke one of his sisters’ favorite toys somewhat intentionally. Now, he was young (4) and did not understand the concept of the permanency of his sister’s loss. She, naturally, was distraught. I was frustrated because this was not his first time taking liberalities with his sisters’ stuff. So, after sufficiently scolding him, I grabbed one of his favorite toys and publicly threw it in the outside trash can. Oh, how he cried! I instructed my son that I would allow his sister—whom he had hurt—to decide whether the toy would stay in the trash or come back inside. I told my daughter I was okay with whatever her decision was—this was her right as the victim of her lost toy. Seeing my son’s pain and his pleas, she said she wanted his toy returned to him. After confirming with her, I retrieved my son’s trashed toy. 

This experience taught them both a lesson. My son appreciated his sister better for her kindness. My daughter learned something about the gift of grace and the potential pain caused by revenge.

Moses’ intercession for His people sounds a lot like my experience with my children. By this time, Moses had endured the Hebrews’ doubts and confrontations in Egypt. Moses faced their criticisms at the Red Sea. He received their scolding when they were hungry and thirsty, by which he struck the rock for water to satisfy. Could God, by offering Moses the chance to leave his people to face destruction, have actually used that instance to turn Moses’ heart back to them? Given the opportunity to get the Hebrews back for all of the trouble they caused him, Moses had to decide if they were worth the continued doubts, worries, and confrontations. Moses realized he was better with them than without them. God’s “judgment” worked for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose (in this case, Moses).

If we see ourselves in worldly contexts, we are apt to resist God’s fatherly intuitions and decree His judgments as “unjust.” Like children, we do not know what we do not know. We have little real concept of our fall into sin. We are ignorant of our sinful impacts on others. God, then, endures with patience and also provides His justice for our sake and the sake of others. Even today, the New Testament’s God of love is still punishing us, in love.

Fortunately, we have the singular, same God, who created us as His “very good” creation, who was heartbroken when we became separated by sin, and who was willing to offer all He had—His holiness, His honor, His Son—for us to be reunited with Him. Honestly, I’m glad the God in the Old Testament is the same God as the New—it proves God is as omnipotent and omnipresent as the Bible claims. Therefore, we can also trust His faithfulness and His promises to be just as eternal.

Thankfully, the same God who has endured all of human history’s faults still has patience for us. The fact that He restrains such powerful judgment on our behalf makes Him the best Father we could ask for.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit prodigalsonline.substack.com