Secret Door to the Left

16 - Master Class on How to Be Kind on Social Media with Joy Harms

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In Episode 16 behind the Secret Door, Alicia and Frances talk to their long-awaited guest and close friend Joy, a speech pathologist located in the Boston area. The episode is a Master Class on How to Be Kind on Social Media with Joy as the teacher.

Joy walks us through her tips on how to effectively engage with people on social media and point out the misinformation and deception Facebook friends often have without being rude, insulting, or cruel.

Tune in to hear Joy’s tips on keeping your cool on Facebook when discussing politics, but also discover some of her rather unusual guilty pleasures. There may be some you have heard of, and there may be some that perhaps only an older Generational Z might know. Who’s to say?

How do you handle politics on social media? Do you have more tips for discussing politics in a civil manner? Or do you stay away from social media because of the politics issue?

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How to Be Nice to Stupid People 101 by Joy Harms:

  1. When talking to others about politics, acknowledge their ego.  No one will respond well to insults and/or all caps responses.  Present them with facts, don’t attack their intelligence/morals/character.
  2. It’s useful to make them think that something is their idea. Figure out what you can appeal to in their belief system to start pointing them in the right direction. You might not change their mind in the moment, but it might plant a seed in them to reconsider their stance in the future.
  3. Remember that you were stupid once too.  Everyone has their own blind spots or areas where they lack knowledge.  Sometimes you can use that to help others realize their mistakes and ignorance.
  4. Opinions and yelling do not change minds. Facts and stories do.
  5. Don't say anything you wouldn’t want your pastor/mom/kids to read.  Remember that anything you post is forever and might come back to haunt you later.
  6. Stop feeding the bad wolf. Every person has a good wolf and a bad wolf in their mind. The stronger wolf will always be the wolf that you feed. When you allow yourself to think bad thoughts about others and call them stupid, or idiots, or etc. you are allowing yourself to feed the bad wolf.  When you allow yourself to stop those thoughts and reframe your perspective to kindness, sympathy, and love you are feeding the good wolf. Sometimes feeding the good wolf is as simple as deleting the cruel comment you typed out and rewriting it.

    7. Joy’s Guilty Pleasures:

    • TV show: Watching her husband watch "The Bachelor" franchise.
    • Movies: Shaun the Sheep-Animation, 5 seasons, 2007
    • Books: None
    • Music: Chintzy Christmas Music
    • Food: Dark Chocolate or any chocolate with mixed nuts in it, Bourbon

      • Episode edited/mixed by @erynbird22

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