In this week's Chubstep Jahred and Pat discuss an easy way Lincoln could have avoided his assignation, Pat meeting Richard Fortus, a Smashing Pumpkins concert, figuring out twin marriage law, a regrettable emoji tattoo, bachelor parties in Milwaukee and the Lake of the Ozarks, taking drinks from strangers on a dark pier, listener emails including a follow up on a beef jerky scam, trashiest to classiest lunch meats, 'St. Ives' in the 'Jeff Goldblum Movie Review', and arresting a whole town in 'Tanzania News'