In her book, Introvert Power, Laurie Helgoe talks about ways in which introverts create a reality for ourselves through some of our passive communication. For example, while listening to someone complaining it can be dangerous to nod your head to show that you’re hearing what they say. Some people take that as you agreeing.

In Laurie’s case she even had a news correspondent report that she believed something that she didn’t, just because he assumed her nod to acknowledge she was listening, was infact agreement with what he was saying. I had a similar experience with a rock cake (you'll have to listen to the show to find out more...)

In this episode of the podcast I look at other ways introverts and HSPs might find our sensitivity working against our own values and preferences. The fact that we might use empathy to keep the peace and make people comfortable can lead us to a world of tacit opinions, tastes and preferences that don’t match up in any way to reality.

Sensitivity and empathy to the feelings of others can create a wrong sense of who we are, what we truly value, and the kinds of things we care about...if we're not careful.

I look at these techniques for maintaining your sense of self while balancing the needs of others.

- Adopt the Introvert Assumption

- Maintain Neutrality (uncommitted) Until You Have an Opinion

- Speak Up When It Matters

- Be Abiding Without Being Submissive

- Be OK With Silence

- Don’t Introduce Topics that Bore You

Sensitivity is a wonderful gift; it can be huge in making people feel at ease and comfortable. But it can also get us into trouble with ourselves because it can take us away from our core, our values, our preferences.