Feeling like you're falling behind or failing your kids? The biggest problem in your homeschool isn't the curriculum or the schedule—it's the lies you quietly believe about yourself. In this episode, we're exploring identity exchange: getting rid of the lies in your head and walking in the calling God's given you.

Kerry shares lessons from Jamie Winship's "Living Fearless" and the story of David—who learned his identity as warrior, musician, poet, and king while watching sheep in obscurity, just like God is forming your identity in the ordinary moments of homeschooling.

What you’ll learn in this episode:

✅Why identity exchange matters: the lies ("I'm not organized enough," "my kids need a real teacher") shape everything you do

✅What David's story teaches us about learning our calling in ordinary, obscure seasons

✅How the enemy attacks Christian homeschool families with little deceptions, not big temptations

✅Why "always" and "never" statements are lies (only God always does something right!)

✅Your homework: Ask God "What lie am I believing?" and write it down (we'll work on truth next week)

Ready to start your identity exchange? 

Download the FREE Biblical Truths Printable mentioned in this episode—sample truths Kerry speaks over herself daily plus a blank page for your own. 

Grab your copy of Jamie Winship's book Living Fearless! 

Podcast: Stop Negative Thinking for You & Your Kids

Well, hello everyone, this is Kerry Beck with Homeschool Coffee Break, where we help you stop the overwhelm so you can actually take a coffee break from your homeschool, your home, your family. Every once in a while, we need a break, and we need to refresh ourselves.

This episode is being published at the very beginning of 2026, and so this morning, I actually was listening to some podcasts. I had heard some of these stories before, I'd read the book, and I was like, this is what I need to share with my moms, because I believe this is a great way to kick off the new year.

Because I don't know about you, but I have a feeling that y'all are feeling a little overwhelmed and stressed out. You feel like you're falling behind, or you're failing your kids. And what we need to realize is the biggest problem in your homeschool, your family, is not the curriculum, is not the schedule, but it is the lies that you quietly believe in your head. You believe them about yourself, as a mom, as a homeschool mom.

Learning About Identity Exchange

What I want to do today is it's going to be at least a two-part series. We're going to talk a little bit about how we can get rid of those lies, and we can walk in the calling that God's given us. And this really will affect your homeschool. It truly will.

I want you to know that what I am sharing today comes from things that I have learned from a man named Jamie Winship. He wrote a book, Living Fearless, and it is Living Fearless, Exchanging the Lies of the World for the Liberating Truth of God. You can get a link to it in the show notes below. When I went on my prayer walk this morning, I really thought through some of these ideas all over again. What is my identity? Let's exchange the lies in my head for my true identity, my true calling from God.

If the things I share today are helpful, I would love for you to share this with one person.

The Lies We Believe

Let's talk about this for a second. When you're in the midst of homeschooling, you're rushing around, you're doing your math, and you're switching the laundry from the washer to the dryer, you're snapping at your kids, and then at night you're lying on your bed going, I'm ruining them. I'm not cut out for this.

But let's be honest, that is not the truth. And you're not the only one that's ever thought that. Because a lot of Christian moms keep that reel in their head, the little script in their head. I'm not organized enough to homeschool. My kids would be better off with a real teacher. I'm just so inconsistent, I can't even hear God clearly.

Well, those are lies in your head, and they shape the way you walk through your day. How you plan your day, or you avoid planning at all. Some of you Type A people got that checklist, those lies are affecting that checklist. Or, I don't know what it is, type B, C, or Z, one of them, you just don't even plan at all, because you're just avoiding it.

Those lies affect the way that you react to your kids when they are struggling. When you invite God into your lessons, or you just push through. Which one are you?

I believe the lessons that I've learned from Jamie Winship about my identity, and about the false identities, the lies, like, I'm a failure, I feel shame, I am inadequate. They keep us stuck. And we can't really hear from God when He is speaking a new name to us.

You know, Revelation 2:17 talks about, if we walk victoriously, God is going to give us a white stone and a new name. I'm going to talk about that in the next episode. But we need to be able to hear that new name.

David's Identity in the Fields

We're going to go to the Bible, and we're going to talk about a young man named David. I'm sure you've all heard it or sung the song, Only a Boy Named David. The reason he could kill Goliath is he had been preparing. He was walking in his identity.

You know, when they came to find the future king, his dad had even forgotten about him, that he even had that son who was out watching the sheep. How would you feel if your parents forgot you? And I don't think most of you... some of you probably had some rough childhoods, but David overcame.

You see, David was called. He was called to be a warrior, a musician, a poet and a king. Where did he learn those things? He learned them when he was watching the sheep from ages 10 to 13, during those middle school years. He wasn't in a palace classroom. He was learning his identity on the field, just like your kids should be learning. Yes, even in middle school, your kids can be learning what their identity is.

So today, I'm going to talk to you, Mom, and then we're going to close out by talking about what you can do with your kids as well. You see, David was a warrior. There were lions and bears that were wanting to eat these sheep, and David had to protect the flock with a slingshot, and he already had practice before he ever got on the battlefield.

He was a poet. He was a musician, he was writing songs to God, practicing worshiping God all alone on those hills of the sheep and the shepherd, watching them. He was a future king. He was learning leadership lessons in total obscurity, because he was faithful in the small things. God could put him in charge of bigger things as he grew into an adult.

Your Ordinary Season Prepares You

It's the same with you. God can use your ordinary season to prepare you for your calling. He did that with David. His ordinary life as a shepherd prepared him to be a king.

It's forming your kids' identity in your living room, at your kitchen table, in their bedroom. It's the small homeschool moments. Those are training grounds for your kids' future calling, and they are current trainings for your calling right now, as a Christian mom, as a homeschool mom as well.

You see, I know we have some homeschool moms, and it may be you. We could just call you Sarah. And you're constantly thinking, I'm not patient like all the other moms. I yell too much at my kids. My kids are only going to remember my anger. I had a fear my kids were going to remember the back of my head facing the computer, because I would work in the afternoons.

And that was not true, because I know they have some good memories of things that we did growing up. And you may be feeling, oh, my kids are just gonna think all I'm doing is yelling at them. And then all of a sudden, someday during your history lesson or your math lesson, your son says, hey, mom, I really like how you always make learning fun, even when you're stressed out.

And all of a sudden, you're in shock, because that internal lie up here in your head is a lie. And you are being too harsh on yourself. You are thinking you are a failure, when that's not true. You know, I think about it, because we did do fun things, and yet I felt like there were times I was snapping at my kids. And hopefully, they are going to remember the good things, the things that you are truly, who you truly are, because you're walking in your calling.

Two Voices in Your Head

You have two voices in your head, just like Sarah, the homeschool mom. It's the lie that we are permanently angry, we are failing our kids, and the other side is the truth. Where her son actually spoke truth to her, because she was a mom who cared enough to just keep showing up, even on the hard days.

And I believe that's who you are. You are a mom who keeps showing up, even on the hard days. Just like David's real identity was known by God in the fields. Sarah's real identity as a loving, persevering homeschool mom was visible to God, even while she believed the lies.

So we have got to get rid of these lies, and we're going to talk about that right now. Because, let's see, things that you're like, I always do this, or never... always and never statements. I learned that from my husband, Steve. He was like, do not say, I always do this, or I never do that. Because that's just not true. Only person that always does something is God. Only person that never does something wrong is God.

You may have shamed things from childhood, or accusing thoughts that you're accusing... you're hopeless. Let's take those away, and let's go to God's voice, because that is the enemy talking. And we are fighting a battle, and if you are homeschooling, and you are a Christian family, that target is on your front. You are in full frontal assault. The enemy is attacking you, and he is telling you lies every single day.

They don't come like, oh, don't believe in God. They come in little bitty deceptions like, I'm not doing enough. I'm failing my kids. I need to be more like someone else. Well, God didn't make you to be someone else. He made you to be you.

God's voice is specific, it is loving, and it can be convicting, but also hopeful. So I want to encourage you to ask the Holy Spirit today, what is one lie that I am believing, and that I could take out of here and get rid of some of that overwhelm and some of the stress?

Help Your Kids with Identity Exchange Too

It's the same with teenagers. Maybe you have a teenager who struggles with reading and says, I am just stupid. I'll never get this. Well, that's a lie. And that's what the enemy wants her to believe. And you as a mom, you may feel that sting, because you may have struggled with that same vibe when you were a teenager. Maybe you're still struggling with it, you know?

And we need to remind our kids, hey. David walked in truth. He could fight Goliath, because he practiced when he was a middle schooler or a teenager. And you, as mom, can prompt her and say, reading is your lion and your bear that you are about to kill, and we are going to overcome it, because God gives us the truth, and He gives us everything we need.

And He will give you the ability to be able to read and move forward in the things that He's called you to do. I read this one story where they said, okay, write, I am stupid on a paper, and then scratch it out, and let's write the truth. I am God's daughter, learning to be brave like David. And then tape that truth on the wall and say it every single day.

Speaking Truth Out Loud

You know, there was a time when I was driving home from the Gentrys, who live about 3 hours away, and we'd had a party, and things were going on in my head, and I eventually just left. I was coming home anyway, but that enemy was lying in my head. I had all this rejection, not from Gentry, but from things that had gone on, and I'll share that story more next week. But I had these lies in my head that I needed to get rid of. And I had to replace them with truth.

And so, what did I do? When I got home, either that night or that next morning, I wrote these truths down. I have since actually written a printable, and I'm going to read them to you, because this is the goal. You are going to... your homework is to name a lie and write it down so we know what it is, and then we're going to write a truth about that, and then we're going to say that truth over and over.

And I said these out loud for months, I wouldn't say years. I still will pull them out and read them, and I want to read them to you, and every single one comes from a deception from the enemy.

Like Jesus, I am chosen by God to be holy. And let me just say, saying it out loud is good. It gets into our brain waves, and it changes the way we think. Did you know your brain grows and grows new synapses every single night? And so we need to retrain the way our brain thinks.

And so these are some things that I wrote down and said out loud so I could get rid of those lies and speak the truth to myself. Like Jesus, I am chosen by God to be holy. I am chosen by God for great honor. I trust in Jesus. Therefore, I am not put to shame. God loves me, and always takes care of me.

I am precious to God because He bought me with His Son's blood. I am a daughter of the king, a princess. I live in the light, shining for Jesus all day long. I control my thoughts, my words, my food, my drink.

I receive God's mercy and grace, so I give grace, mercy, and forgiveness to others. I leave my case in the hands of God, who always judges fairly. I speak with words. I speak with pure and reverent behavior in a quiet and gentle spirit. And I wait quietly on God. Now, that's a hard one. Especially when you've been waiting for something for years, and not like, oh, I'm waiting for a house or a car, waiting for people's souls to turn back to God.

I am patient. I am kind. I always forgive. I forget offenses against me. The Holy Spirit renews my mind and attitudes every day. God never leaves me, never abandons me, never fails me. I listen well. I trust in God to fight my battles. He wins my battles.

We're going to talk a little bit more about getting to those truths next week, but if you would like a copy of these along with a blank page where you fill in your own truths, and we'll have these next week, you can look in the show notes, and there will be a link to those, completely free for you.

Your Homework This Week

So, I want you to take a deep breath. If you can, close your eyes. If you're driving, do not close your eyes. And I want you to ask, Jesus, what lie am I believing about myself as a mom? Don't filter, just notice whatever comes.

God already knows it, so don't try hiding your bad thoughts about yourself. He knows what you believe. He knows what I believe. So just put it out there and be honest with yourself. That is called confession, where you truly not... I'm sorry for this, God. Confession is truly admitting the lie that you are believing.

And I would say write it down this week, and you might write a few things down. God already knows you're not surprising Him. Confess it means you are agreeing with Him that it's not from Him, that it's a lie. And then next week, we're gonna just start with one of those lies.

So, spend this week asking God, what lies do I believe? And then I want you to do this with your kids after you have already experienced this, and listened to God. And do it with your kids, and if you're not sure, pray with them, especially any kid that's 10 and up, even 8 and up, probably.

They are probably thinking there are some lies, and you may even know what they are. You might be able to point them in direction, or you might let them pray and let God truly speak to them. So they can begin hearing the voice of God. We're going to talk a lot about the voice of God next week.

That's all it is. We're not gonna worry about the truth, we're just gonna worry about the lies that we believe. We're gonna be truthful to ourselves. Brutally truthful, and then we're going to move forward.

If you want more help, I would encourage you to get Jamie Winship's book, Living Fearless. There's a link in the show notes to that as well. He will take you even deeper than what I am sharing in these two episodes. You can also get my free biblical truths, daily truths, and I would encourage you, we'll start talking about that, speaking them out loud every single day.

Thanks for spending time with me. If any of this hits home, please share this with just one friend, maybe another homeschool mom, that this might encourage. That would mean the world to me. I'm Kerry Beck with Homeschool Coffee Break. We'll talk to you next time.