Tired of the lies playing on repeat in your mind? Feeling like a fraud, rejected, or not good enough—even when you're managing everything? In this vulnerable episode, we're exploring how to speak the truth over yourself and your children, exchanging lies for God's identity and calling for your life.

Kerry shares her deeply personal story of walking through rejection and discovering that speaking the truth out loud daily—not just thinking it—is what transforms your mind and breaks the power of lies.

What you’ll learn in this episode:

✅Why we must speak the truth out loud (not just think positive thoughts) to renew our minds

✅The white stone with a new name in Revelation 2:17 and what it means for your identity

✅The two questions that replace "Why, God?" and actually move you forward

✅Kerry's story: learning to speak the truth as a warrior on her knees after 31 years of marriage ended

✅How to help your kids speak the truth over the lies they believe about themselves

Ready to start your identity exchange? 

Download the FREE Biblical Truths Printable mentioned in this episode—sample truths Kerry speaks over herself daily plus a blank page for your own.  

Grab your copy of Jamie Winship's book Living Fearless! 

Podcast: Stop Negative Thinking for You & Your Kids

Show Notes:

Hey everyone, Kerry Beck here with Homeschool Coffee Break, where we help you stop the overwhelm so you can actually take a coffee break.

We talked last week about lies in our head and lies that our kids believe. This week, we're going to get to the hopeful part. That may have been a little depressing. We're going to get to the hopeful part. We're going to come talk to God about what our identity is in Him, what His calling is for us, and how we can replace those lies.

Jamie Winship calls it identity exchange. We are going to exchange those lies for truth.

Learning from Living Fearless

What I'm sharing are things that I have learned from a man named Jamie Winship. He's written a book called Living Fearless. You can get the link to it in the show notes, and I highly recommend it. A few years ago, I bought a copy for every one of my children, and for my parents and my sister as well, because it had such a huge impact on us.

We're going to talk today about how God actually gives you a new name, a true identity, and how to listen for it, how to find out what it is. We're going to start with Revelation 2. This is where Jesus is writing to the different churches, and he's written to a church called Pergamum. He says, you have remained true to my name, to God's name. You did not renounce your faith in me. And that was a good thing.

But at the end of his letter, he has this to say in Revelation 2:17: Anyone with ears to hear must listen to the Spirit and understand what He is saying to the churches. To everyone who is victorious, I will give some of the manna that has been hidden away up in heaven. I will give to each of you a white stone, and on the stone will be engraved a new name that no one understands, except the one who receives it.

You may be going, what is this white stone he's talking about? And how do we get a new name? Because that new name has something to do with your identity. Well, in ancient Greece, the jury members would give a white stone if they were going to acquit the man. They would give a black stone if the defendant was guilty. In ancient Rome, they had a custom of awarding white stones to the winner of athletic events, and their name was written on that stone.

We want to talk about that new name, because we walk in newness of life. We walk in a new covenant. We're going to put away our sins. We're going to leave our past in the past, and we are going to walk in newness of life. That's what I want for you, Mom. That's what I want for your children as well.

Can You Really Hear from God?

If you've ever wondered, can I really hear God about my identity? How do I know? Sometimes we don't truly believe God and what He is saying. We say He can do the impossible, but we don't really think it for us.

Let me share a couple stories that Jamie Winship shares. He met a man in Washington, D.C. who had been working with Congress, and this man comes up to him, like a bodybuilder, very well-built, very healthy. And he says, how can I know if I can really hear from God? And he said, well, you can come with me to a mission, because Jamie Winship had worked with the CIA over in the Middle East for decades, and he was now helping Congress with some things about working with conflict.

He and this Jason Bourne dude and a Navy guy, they all got dropped off in Northern Africa, pitch dark. They get there, they're staying in tents, their host would fix their meals, and they would fix 4 plates. And the Jason Bourne guy would go, why is there someone else? Why do they keep fixing 4? There's only three of us.

Eventually, after a few days, he says, well, go ask them. Since this guy could speak that language, he says, why do you have four plates? Well, it's for your security detail. He's like, what are you talking about? Well, long story short, they're like, the guy that's guarding y'all outside. And he's like, what does he look like? He's the big, bulky guy that's protecting you. And what is he? He has a sword.

Come to find out, they could see this angel of God that was protecting Jamie and this Jason Bourne guy and the other guy from enemy attack, and he had a sword. Muslims believe in visions like that. They believe these things. They believe you can hear from the gods. And they could see this angel, even though Jamie and Jason Bourne person couldn't.

But when he heard that, Jason Bourne is like, okay, how do I hear God? I want to know. How do I hear God? And basically, Jamie says, what about your situation? He's like, why can't we have kids? And he says, you're asking the wrong question. And for some of you, you're asking the wrong question when it comes to the problems in your life, your identity. You're saying, why, why, why? That is the wrong question.

Here are the two questions that Jamie suggests. We need to say, God, what do you want me to know, God? What do you want me to do? And that was a question that I actually wrestled with. This morning, again, on my walk, I was gonna go right into prayer. I'm like, no, I need to listen to God.

A lot of believers, we all believe, yes, God's powerful, we've seen Him do miracles, all this stuff, but we don't really believe that we can hear from God. And if we don't believe that, we believe in a weak God. I do believe that I can hear from God. We believe in a God that can do it for everyone else, but not for us. Or that He will do miracles, but I don't know about for us.

Well, that is not total faith. Total faith is believing that God can do miracles. And we need to let God tell us what He is doing, instead of our past dictating what we do. Instead of our failures dictating what we do. Instead of our fears. Do you have fears about homeschooling? Or raising kids? You see, this is what leads to bad identity, to the lies that we talked about.

But when you live from what God says you are, you are going to become more creative, more resilient, you're going to have more peace, even in the hard circumstances. I am a product of that as well. You see, you may be great at multitasking, teaching, managing your home, but you still feel like a fraud.

Identity Exchange is going to God and letting him rename you. Like that white stone with a new name.

The Story of Hamza

There was a young man in the Middle East that Jamie ran across. I actually shared this story at Homeschool Superheroes about 3 or 4 years ago, and in the chat, people are like, is this for real? Is this a real story? Is she really telling the truth? And yes, it is real, and you can read about it or listen to it when Jamie tells that story. But there was a man named Hamza.

He had found a Bible at a hotel, and somehow he connected with Jamie, and he's like, who is this man? And they go, well, do you want to hear from him? Or do you want us to tell you about him? I want to hear from him, talking about Jesus, because he had read parts of the New Testament.

They got together, and they didn't tell him what they knew about Jesus. They were like, we're gonna let God speak. And what they did was they prayed and said, okay, God, Hamza really wants to hear from you. Would you please speak your truth to Him and let him hear that?

Would that be a scary prayer? In the United States, we don't pray that. You know why? We're afraid God's not going to show up. We're afraid God's not going to show up for me, for our friends, for our own children. We're afraid he's not going to speak.

Well, they weren't afraid, and God has shown up over and over. I've heard many stories that He has shared of Him speaking, and Hamza heard, and he began to grow in his new identity in Jesus Christ. He has walked through so many hardships. His family tried to kill him several times, like, throw him off a cliff, shoot him with a gun, and somehow he's made it through all of this because he walks in his identity of Christ, and what God spoke to him.

His hardships and fear began to change as he learned to listen to God's voice and receive that new identity of who He is in Christ Jesus. This has opened doors to things he would never imagine, and it can be the same with you in your homeschool. If God can reach a young man, a Muslim man, being killed by his family because he has faith in Jesus, and even more dangerous situations, he can speak to you, tired homeschool mom, in your minivan, or at the kitchen table.

My Story of Identity Exchange

I know from experience that God has spoken to me. I don't know how many of you know my story, but about nine and a half years ago, my husband left. We'd been married for 31 years. I'd be a very rich person if I had money from all my friends that looked at me and went, you and Steve? No, that's not true. Because they'd seen a marriage that seemed to be working.

But I felt, when I found out he was leaving, totally rejected. I'd never felt depression before. I felt hopeless. And I could have walked in those lies. I probably did for a while. My friend says, Kerry, you were walking in PTSD for a few years. That's probably true.

But I began praying for him all the time. I pray for him every single day. Sometimes it's a quick prayer, sometimes it's prayers of tears, but it is a prayer for his soul. His soul needs to go back to accepting the redemption that He has through Jesus Christ. I also pray for reconciliation for our marriage and our family. And there are people that are like, just get over it and move on, and go find someone else. No.

I made a covenant with God, a three-way covenant. Not a contract, where if he does something wrong, it's broken, go off and do whatever. A covenant. God's never broken His covenant with Israel. He's remained faithful, even through discipline. And I decided that is what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna remain faithful to our covenant. God and I are still waiting for Steve's return.

The question isn't why, God? Why is this happening? It's, God, what do you want me to know? What do you want me to do about this? And then let God work in and through me through the Holy Spirit. You see, I need to focus on me growing with God, and I'll let God deal with Steve. I believe He is faithful to the promises He's made, Steve and me. God says, I will never leave you or abandon you. I will work on you until the day of Christ Jesus.

Over time, I've learned who I am. What is my identity? And it's not the same as for you, but I will share mine. I believe I'm a warrior, a warrior on her knees, a teacher. A teacher of women and kids, both online and in person. An encourager. I never wanted to be a counselor. That's the thing I ever wanted to do. But God has used me to counsel kids and women. And I've pressed into that. And I'm a networker. I'm an organizer networker, trying to pull people together, trying to get things, not programs, but relationships. That's where it's all about, a networker of relationships.

You need to know your identity comes first, and then the outcome. I am a prayer warrior for Steve and for our family on my knees pretty every day. Again, sometimes there are quick prayers, but a lot of times, when I go for a walk, that's my prayer time. When I sit at the kitchen table, that's my prayer and Bible time. That is who God made me, a warrior of people's souls. A warrior that fights and contends for people's souls, starting with my own marriage and husband, and family, kids, and grandkids.

We haven't seen reconciliation, but I know God is good, I know God loves Steve, and He is still working, and I totally believe that He is reconciling our marriage. In the middle of my pain, it wasn't why God. Well, yeah, I had asked that, honestly. Why is this happening to me? It's not supposed to be like this.

But I have learned it's more important for me to keep my eyes upward and my faith in Jesus. Because this world is passing away, and there is nothing that I need to do. I need to change my identity and not believe the lies that I was a terrible wife or a terrible mom. I've been rejected multiple times since Steve left by him, neighbors, church, family members, and it hurts.

But I keep going back to God, because He's the one that's going to move me forward. I can't change people. I can just deal with myself. And He will meet me in the messiness of my broken marriage, my sleeping marriage, my destroyed marriage. He will meet you in your homeschool. He will meet you in your family, in your home, in your marriage, and in your heart.

Simple Steps to Get Unstuck

There are two key questions you need to be asking yourself. Not why, although you can ask why. I'm not expecting to, well, I do, I'll be honest, the reason why is so I would trust Him, and I would grow closer to Him. I would never wish my life on anyone. But I wouldn't trade it for anything. Because I am closer to God than I have ever been.

So, God, what do you want me to do about this situation, your situation? God, what do you want me to know, and then what do you want me to do?

Your child melts down over math. The old question is, why is this always happening? What is wrong with us? The new question is, God, what do you want me to know about my child? What do you want me to do? Comfort? Pause, change the approach, stop doing math. I did that for a whole year, actually, when I had a child that wasn't doing well with math, and had a bad attitude about it.

Maybe skip it first. You're a gentle shepherd, not a drill sergeant. Then speak that truth out loud. Start acting as a gentle shepherd and not that frazzled failure. Just like I did.

What I want you to do is I want you to look at the lies, pick one, and write a truth, hopefully a Bible verse that will go along with that truth. And then once you've wrestled through this, work with each of your children. What is the lie they are believing? I can't do it. I'm not smart enough. I need this, or I need that. I don't want this, I don't want that. Blaming people, whatever the lie is.

Do it with your kids as well, and write a truth down, and say it out loud. Here are the simple steps so that you can get unstuck with the lies that you're believing. Number one, name one lie. That was last week's episode. Ask the two questions. What, God, do you want me to know about this? What do you want me to do about this?

Then, I want you to find a truth and write it down, and put it somewhere that you're going to see it every single day. Kitchen sink, I have some in the bathroom window, I actually have some in the kitchen sink, I have some in my car. So I have different truths that I will see at different times of my day. And then I want you to say it aloud every single day.

Do this with your kids, maybe at the breakfast table. They read out loud that Bible verse or that truth about themselves, maybe at their desk, if they have a desk, and they are going to read that out loud as well, before they get started on their homeschool.

Speak the Truth Over Your Life

If you want more ideas, you can get Jamie's book, Living Fearless, that'll be in the show notes. If you want these free things here that I have, I'm going to read these in a second, then you can get those, the link is in the show notes as well. It's just a printable, and there is a page for you to write your own truth. You don't need mine, but mine can be just sort of a sample.

And I'll close with this. Like Jesus, I am chosen by God to be holy. I am chosen by God for great honor. I trust in Jesus, therefore I am not put to shame. God loves me and always takes care of me.

I am precious to God, because He bought me with Jesus' blood. I am a daughter of the king, a princess. I live in the light shining for Jesus all day long. I control my thoughts, my words, my food, my drink.

I receive God's mercy and grace, so I give grace, mercy, and forgiveness to others. I lead my case in the hands of God, who always judges fairly. I speak with words. I speak with pure and reverent behavior, and with a gentle and quiet spirit. I wait quietly on God.

Some things I have to really work on, and when I'm really struggling with a lie at that time, I may just pull that one out and say it every day, sometimes multiple times. I am patient. I am kind. I always forgive. I forget offenses against me. And some of you are like, I can't forget that. Well, you know what? If I have the Holy Spirit inside of me, I have the power that God has inside of me, and I can overcome, and God can take those thoughts away. He takes other thoughts away that I forget. Surely He can take those offenses, and I forget them.

The Holy Spirit renews my mind and attitudes every day. God never leaves me, never abandons me, never fails me. I listen well. I trust in God to fight my battles. He wins my battles.

Thanks for spending time with me. If any of this hits home, please share this with just one friend, maybe another homeschool mom, that this might encourage. That would mean the world to me. I'm Kerry Beck with Homeschool Coffee Break. We'll talk to you next time.