There’s a hummingbird in my hands and an owl on my shoulder. The sun is setting behind the memory of the love I have let go. I’m leaning over the bridge, tempting fate, begging love to come to my rescue again. Baby brown eyes are on my mind. I want her to find the courage to reach out. I want her to remember the king she glued back together for my love of the game. If I lose my queen, I surrender. I don’t play if the retreat of my precious soul is a requirement. I don’t play without my power. “I’m much more powerful than you remember. Think you can handle me? Think we could make it out alive? Thin`k space and time would have mercy on our bodies dancing in the moonlight? Think the stars are burning in our defense? How do you imagine our bodies existing side by side? Describe the alignment in vivid detail. Say it aloud, alone in dark. Say that you are in love with a human. I will move over your skin like a woman. I will hold you like a man. I will protect you like an animal. I will take you away from that place. I will hold you captive in a single moment. I will invite myself in. I will throw you against the wall. You will whine. You will say that you tried with all your might not to fall in love me. I will say it’s really silly to control anything. The heart space knows everything so that you don’t have to. What are you trying to make sense of? Who says you can’t have whom you chose? Who says I haven’t chosen you? You never asked. Aren’t you even the tiniest bit curious? Aren’t you shaking furiously, stumbling over the stupid couch in the middle of the room? You didn’t tell me. You had the chance. You tried to align me perfectly. I stared at the full moon. Perfection was overkill. I only wanted you to speak. I already knew how you felt. Do you remember when we met? Did you miss the second time? Was the third a lie? Were you afraid to recognize me? Why do your hands want my body? Have you dared identify this desire? Are you ready yet?” I’m doing my face with magic marker. I’m in my right place, don’t be a downer. “I’m not afraid! I am bored out of my fucking mind! I need to communicate! My guts are in knots when your disappearance crosses my mind! How dare you leave without saying goodbye! Who do you think you are? Don’t answer that. Please! I already know. I know who I am. I know what I’m capable of. Everyday I wake up and do the exact same fucking thing. I control nothing! My mind escapes every attempt at subduing fate. I don’t want to scare you! I am full of rage! I am impatient! I am defensive. But once I let you in, I’ll kill for you without thinking. You want devotion? I’m about as good they get. I’m worthy of your love. I am destined for greatness. I will never wash another fucking dish again. I will stick my finger in a jar of nut butter instead. I don’t need what I’ve been made to believe I need. I only need you! The second time you came into my bar with a drunk Irishman. You both started dancing. I found a blue rose. I couldn’t remember who left it. I was still heartbroken. Well love, here I am. Ready. Wanting. Needing us to finally begin. Wont you come for me? Won’t you remember the courage I see within?” Maybe baby. “In the meantime, I’ll tell you a story. It all started with a brave brat locked in a cage. A boy was on the floor screaming. He was hungry. He was sad all of the time. His tears ran over his naked body as he danced the night away in a dark room. He was thinking of you. He was pretending he was girl. He was thinking too much. You were alone. You felt trapped in a prison behind the letter K. You were fond of the dawn. He tried to soften your heart. But you were torn. You were defending something you didn’t want to believe in. He went away. You grew strong; holding the though of him in your hands like a crystal, you induced dreaming to remember the plan. You built the courage and reached out your hand. He hinted his admiration. He’d been waiting. He’d been healing. He was standing on the bridge crying. You ran behind him. You put your hands on his face and started screaming. He smiled. He recognized you but he didn’t dare jinx fate. This love was precious. This love was the end. Timing had to be perfect. Can you see my heart? It’s open. It’s free. It is in need of you. I’m standing at the sink in our kitchen. You sneak up behind and scare me. Boo! Ha!” She inhales deeply. “Are you ready to dance yet? Why are you so fucking serious all of the time. You have to play a little too, darling. It’s okay to be sad. You know everything; I see the hold this knowing has on you. I will hold you when you are overpowered by this weakness. I will let my fire burn as bright as it likes! When I am burning with rage, you will fuel it with love. You will admire what I am made of. And you will calm me. And I will surrender. For this is how love was made to be. Unabashedly true. Unconditional: free.”