Don’t deny yourself the comfort of my skin. Don’t forget what I taste of. Rain? Was that the scent? It keeps slipping away. Remind me, before I forget. Who am I to you? Am I a separate thing? Can you feel me in everything living? Because this is where I always find you. You seep in-between my toes from the earth below, in the morning dew. When I yawn you’re sliding down my throat. When I spit you hang off of my lips. My every word is guarded; a massive army of natural born intelligence, there was nothing to learn but my nakedness. Who convinced you to abandon such astonishment and joy? When you let months go by without caressing your skin, what is it that you miss the most? Where is the gratitude for the life I have bestowed upon you? This body. These bones. This canvas: the projection of the senses. Tell me baby, what have you created in the absence of my living presence? Do you reject that nothing does the disappearance justice? Do you neglect to remember? In case you might compare, you could risk your pleasant disposition. You could fall off you chair and start throwing a tantrum in a formal situation. Don’t worry, I wont tell everyone in this room what you’re burning to do. I wont speak of the violence. I will let it be spoken through you. With every movement that you refuse to make, with every second wasted, I will make a fool of you. When you finally reach the edge of insanity and let you spirit loose, I will be waiting for you. For all the time between, I live and you die. Every morning I curl in ball and weep, I live and you die. I can’t rise yet, it hurts to breathe alone, how can half of me be so far behind? How can I live if you are not alive? How are you breathing? Does it make you sick to eat? When you open your mouth, do you think? Is it before you swallow or before you speak? Close you mouth when you chew! Don’t stand to close. Don’t sit too long. Don’t run. Walk. Don’t stop. The destination is infinitely unknown. Trust your body my love, she knows everything. She knows where I sleep? Dare you walk in blind faith? Dare you walk through the night? Would you close your eyes indefinitely if it meant you could see through me? Would you vow a silent revenge if you were made to speak? Do you still have a heartbeat? I’m confused with the scene you’ve painted. You need me. I don’t need you. You’re terrified. I fear you’ll never see this far ahead. You’re running backwards and screaming for me to look. You’re all dolled up and pleased to be performing, the sacrificial lamb. All eyes are on you. You look like raw meat. Cannibals live where you are descending. It was all pretending. The sacrifice was worthless. They only wanted to be fed. They only wanted to digest you, temporary fuel for the next kill. Babygirl, you’re defending the same violence enacted on you. I can save you no more than you can save me. I can speak in riddles and sing myself to sleep. I can dance with what of you still remains. But I cannot touch you. You cannot hold me while I dream. I cannot see you, every time I remember it’s changing. The details fade into something new, aging. Dying is a natural goodbye. I sit on the edge of my mattress, but I cannot stand yet, as I live to watch you die. I am still mesmerized with silence, for I haven’t found the words to say. Hi wasn’t good enough a farewell. I wasn’t pleasant. I was a brat in a button-down trying to dance perfectly. You were an orchestra out of tune. The power invested in you had the potential to move bodies from within, without knowing they existed, like music. And you used it against yourself. Do you feel abused? Do feel abandoned by your own fate? Do you feel raped? Do you feel used? Do you feel responsible for creating? Or are you simply moved. Mums got you all dressed up. You want to puke. There is nothing that you want to do. You want me to want you. You want your body back from the grave! You want your fingers snug around a shimmering fountain pen. You want everything you see to disappear. You want the world to become a blank canvas; endless white waiting to be colored in, no lines. You thought it were words that you were waiting on. But you began to scribble a river running through dimly lit woods. As it grows darker, a small girl appears, golden brown hair shaved to her ears, she’s walking ahead. A lantern swings from her right hand. She is singing softly of the single eye of the heart. The one that sees the story that’s already been written, the one the chose her name; you cannot look away, its already been imagined. The damage is irrevocable. I’ve already claimed the thrown. You’ve already started creating, there’s nowhere left to go but toward your love. You cannot hide from desire. You cannot hide your body from your mind.