Are there people in your life who drive you up the wall because they hold very different beliefs from yours? Maybe you've drifted from friends and family members because conversations turn heated and hostile whenever you try to change their minds.

Konrad Benjamin is the creator of Ideas Digest, a podcast that aims to build bridges of connection between world views at war. "Politicians, religions, algorithms and mainstream media make money on dividing us all and building higher and higher walls around us".

When I first listened to the Ideas Digest Podcast, I was struck by the gentle rebellion. This was Konrad's commitment to looking beneath the surface, searching for empathic connection, and meeting people in good faith, even in the most challenging conversations.

These are practices that the world needs more of right now.

Episode ContentsChanging and Softening Minds | 3:17Prohibition Doesn't Change Minds; It Hardens Them | 9:44What Are Ideas? | 12:41Making Our Minds Up | 16:51How We Hold Others When We Encounter Them | 21:02Our Fixed Mind Illusions | 24:50Universality and Non-Belonging | 25:50Distance Not Difference Hardens Minds | 33:32Foundational Assumptions and The Expectations We Carry | 36:45Every Position Is a Strategy To Meet a Need | 43:18What REALLY Changes/Softens Minds? | 45:47Brittle Fragility and Weak Minds | 51:34The Story of The Mustard Seed | 52:59

It's easier than ever to connect with like-minded people around the world. There are also many ways to mute, block, and walk away from people who think differently. And while this can be a helpful soothing balm at times, it also has a damaging impact on our ability to encounter and engage with people when we don't see eye to eye.

Views, ideas, and beliefs become entrenched, and we dehumanise those we can lump into "people like that".

This trajectory has clear implications. We've probably all experienced its impact in different ways.

Changing and Softening Minds | 3:17

As I've often said, gentleness is not about being weak and passive in conflict. It's about approaching the path ahead with the best tools for the job. It places space and time between the stimulus and response. And meets the world with a firm back and soft front (humility, curiosity, and a meaningful sense of vision) rather than a brittle back and a rigid front (firing weapons while hiding from the world).

We react to the present and create the future in the same movement. How we act today as individuals and collectives set the tone for the world we encounter tomorrow.

Prohibition Doesn't Change Minds; It Hardens Them | 9:44

I asked Konrad what drives him to talk with people whose ideas he might instinctively oppose. He says, "these ideas are not going away", and suggests we have a choice to make. We can push them underground or seek to understand where they are coming from so we can consider and respond to their roots.

Cultural and social prohibitions often occur at a symptomatic level. But we know from history that banning things, while it might make them disappear from view temporarily, can lead to more extreme expressions down the line.

We might mistake coerced silence for willing consent. But when this happens, the mind that feels silenced becomes hardened. It doubles down, seeks allies, and prepares to fight back.

What Are Ideas? | 12:41

I find ideas mindblowing. Not any particular views, just that we have THEM in the first place. We can imagine, think about, and process completely abstract concepts—things we cannot see in a physical sense. We can then turn them into objects, systems, and experiences. Whoa!

In this episode, I aimed to look at how we hold ideas. What do we attach to our beliefs? How do these thoughts define us? What is at stake if we change our minds? How do we hold other people and their ideas? Do we see the person beneath the belief, or do we encounter humans at their word and no deeper?