Be careful what you wish for.

Please Ouija Please

• Griswold – Tom Taverna
• Maude – Nila Hagood
• Edgar – Boyd Barrett
• Winifrid – Julie Hoverson
• Nurse 1 – Rhys Torres
• Nurse 2 – Eleiece Krawiec
• News 1 – Greg Allensworth
• News 2 – Regan Lussier

Written and produced by Julie Hoverson

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This is one of my newer short audio pieces. Another one where a single scene in some movie will stick in my head and I will come up with an entirely new story - in this case, a nurse walking away, and someone sneaking out of their rooms at night. Can't even recall what movie it was, but the whole story came to me in an instant.

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Please Ouija Please

Cast:

• GRISWOLD (M, elderly) leader
• MAUDE (F, elderly) bossy
• EDGAR (M, elderly) jokester
• WINIFRID (F, elderly) worrywart
• NURSE1 & 2 (any)
• News1 & 2 (any)

MUSIC - MELANCHOLY

SCENE 1. OLD FOLKS HOME

SOUND DOOR SHUTS VERY QUIETLY

SOUND SOFT FOOTSTEPS

NURSE 1 [report, quiet] Everything's fine in here.

SOUND THEY WALK AWAY

NURSE 2 The boys have been fractious tonight. They keep claiming they have to "go home." [chuckles sadly] These senile cases. At least they aren't the type to play grabsies like frat boys.

NURSE 1 I'd hate for any of our oldies to get out and go missing like those kids from over the hill.

NURSE 2 I know. Who knows what could be happening to the poor little things?

SOUND THEY GO OUT A DISTANT DOOR, IT SHUTS

SOUND AFTER A MOMENT, A NEARBY DOOR OPENS

MAUDE [whispered] All clear.

WINIFRID [whispered] Do you see the boys?

GRISWOLD Psst!

MAUDE There they are. Stay close, Winnie!

SOUND VERY SOFT SLIPPERED FOOTSTEPS

MUSIC - MYSTICAL

SCENE 2. ATTIC

SOUND MATCHES STRIKE

EDGAR [bragging] Stole these from the orderly.

WINIFRID You could have got caught!

SOUND CHALK WRITING - WITH MAUDE'S LETTERS

MAUDE A-B

GRISWOLD I was watching his back.

MAUDE C-D-E

GRISWOLD If anyone came, I was gonna fake a seizure or something. At least til Eddie got clear.

MAUDE F-G-H-I- [falters] uh--

WINIFRID J-K-L

MAUDE right. M- N-

EDGAR I couldn't find anything quite like a reader thing--

WINIFRID A planchette.

EDGAR Yeah, one of those. But maybe this would work.

MAUDE O-P-Q-R

GRISWOLD We don't want to take any chances. Not again.

WINIFRID [agreeing dolefully] Nuh-uh!

MAUDE S-T-U-

EDGAR But this - I found this magnifying glass - it can circle letters.

WINIFRID They use a little drinking glass in the movies. When they don't have a proper one.

MAUDE V-W-X-

GRISWOLD There's no time to go get anything else. And they lock up the dining hall.

EDGAR We can all touch the edges of the magnifier. It's big enough.

MAUDE Y-Z. There.

SOUND WRITING ENDS

WINIFRID [anxious] Now put yes and no.

GRISWOLD And Goodbye. NEVER forget goodbye.

SOUND WRITING AGAIN

MAUDE [sigh as she starts] Good...bye.

SOUND DRAGGING OF MAGNIFYING GLASS ACROSS GROUND.

EDGAR See?

WINIFRID That's awful noisy. Are you sure they won't hear?

GRISWOLD I don't think so.

MAUDE [writing, not responding] Yes.

EDGAR You always agree with Griswold.

MAUDE [writing, not responding] No.

WINIFRID Hush, Eddie.

MAUDE [finished] There. What? [waits] We better start. Who knows when they'll spot we're all gone.

GRISWOLD Circle up.

SOUND SCUFFLING MOVEMENT

EDGAR We all got to touch this.

SOUND MAGNIFYING GLASS SET ON FLOOR

WINIFRID Who starts?

MAUDE Griz did it before, he has to again. Do you remember who to call?

GRISWOLD Shh. [in an important voice] We are here to call on the spirits. Are there any here?

SOUND MAGNIFYING GLASS SLIDES

EDGAR [hushed but excited] Yes!

WINIFRID I didn't--!

MAUDE Shh! Go on Griz.

GRISWOLD We need to speak to the spirit we found before. The one named--

WINIFRID It's moving.

SOUND MOVING

EDGAR Spelling something!

MAUDE U-M-A-

GRISWOLD Sh. Don't say it if you don't have to.

MAUDE I wasn't saying it, I was--

GRISWOLD Shh!

WINIFRID It was the same name, I was watching.

EDGAR Me too!

GRISWOLD Are you here?

SOUND MOVING

EDGAR Yes.

WINIFRID [blurting] Please let us go home!

MAUDE Shh. You know it's not that easy.

GRISWOLD We want to reverse what happened. Can we do that?

SOUND MOVING

EDGAR [shaky and excited] Yes!

WINIFRID [whimpers]

MAUDE How? [prompting] Ask how?

GRISWOLD How can we reverse it?

SOUND MOVING

EDGAR K-

MAUDE I-

GRISWOLD L-

WINIFRID [whimpers, cries] No.

GRISWOLD Who?

WINIFRID [crying] What?

GRISWOLD [ignoring her] Who do we have to--

SOUND MOVING

MAUDE [reading] Anyone.

GRISWOLD How many? How many total?

EDGAR What?

GRISWOLD I don't want to get fooled again. Is it one for all of us, or one each?

SOUND MOVING

WINIFRID I can't!

MAUDE [reading] Only One.

EDGAR Whew.

WINIFRID No!

MAUDE [sigh] We have to, or we'll be here forever.

EDGAR And forever ain't gonna last very long. [slight whine] I want to go home, don't you, Winnie?

WINIFRID I- I- [breaking down into tears] Y-yes. I want mommy!

MAUDE Do we all have to,.. help? Or can you handle it, Griz?

GRISWOLD Me? Um. I'll ask. [clears throat] Who needs to - uh - do the killing?

SOUND MOVING

GRISWOLD [reading] No matter.

EDGAR You make it say it clear!

GRISWOLD [commanding] If I do it - kill someone - will that count for all of us so we can go home?

SOUND MOVING - ONE SHIFT

MAUDE [sharp, reading] Yes!

GRISWOLD Okay, then.

EDGAR [dubious] I-I- can help?

GRISWOLD I got us into this.

WINIFRID But Edgar made the wish.

EDGAR What?

MAUDE You are the one who said we all wanted to be older.

GRISWOLD [grim] Never mind. Let's get it over with.

EDGAR Don't forget to say--

ALL JOIN IN Goodbye.

SOUND LONG WAIT, THEN MOVING - ONE SHIFT

MUSIC

SCENE 3. NEWS

NEWS1 Breaking news tonight is the fire at the Ronson Elder Care facility that claimed three lives. No details at this time as to the cause of the conflagration. More as the story develops.

NEWS2 In other, more pleasant, news, four young siblings who have been missing in the Ronson area for almost two weeks have mysteriously found their way home.

NEWS1 I'm sure we all wish them the best.

MUSIC STING TO END