What do you get when you take one of the biggest news stories of the year, remove all the characteristics that made it fascinating, and hastily turn it into a TV movie only a few months later? You get THE COLLEGE ADMISSIONS SCANDAL (2019), starring Penelope Ann Miller, Mia Kirshner, and Michael Shanks. In this bland retelling of events showcasing wealthy white entitlement at its most infuriating, we see what happens to two families who care so much about what college their children attend, they are willing to buy their offspring’s acceptance. While Stephanie, Rachel, and Zach dissect this flavorless production, they also discover the true meaning behind Sir Mix-a-Lot’s “Baby Got Back”, contemplate what creature has nature’s most evil penis, and take some time to denigrate Dustin Diamond. You won’t want to adMISSion this one!

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