Richard Martin asked me to be screened again for HIV and sexually transmitted diseases.  I had done so after Don left and should be tested every six months.  He offered to pay for it, but it is something I need to do anyway.  I bought the sound track from the Titanic, “Love Will Go On” sung by Celine Dion because he says he loves it so much.  I was thinking on the way home, listening to the tape that I think of him in every love song.  One in particular, “The Reason” should be dedicated to him.

 

I’ve thought a lot about our discussion regarding the swinging lifestyle and concluded that if he wants to experience it in his lifetime, it should be now, but not with me.  As a recovering alcoholic what kind of person would he be to coax me into a drink?  As an ex-smoker what kind of person would blow smoke in my face and tell me just a time or two won’t hurt?  As a Christian woman with strong homosexual desires what kind of person would encourage me to violate God’s law and my own conscience?  If satisfying a fantasy is more important than my soul then there isn’t much value to my soul.

 

He called me tonight to tell me that his tenant who rents the Farm Store is a very beautiful bi-sexual swinger.  Why call and tell me that other than in an attempt to pique my curiosity and hopefully arrange for himself a threesome?  As if to try and run me off he canceled our dinner tonight, saying I was probably too busy and that he had to spend time with Patty.  He said he wants to see me Thursday because he has a date with Zena, the doctor, Wednesday as well.

 

I was crushed.  This is what I asked for but it hurts nonetheless.  Jamie came in and jammed my copier and I snapped at her.  She asked why the sudden moodiness and I realized I was behaving toward her the same way I did when Don had me on edge.  I am not going to put her through that hell again.  No man’s affection is worth this roller coaster ride.

 

I fed the cats and cooled off.  Maybe he just doesn’t know God’s Word, although I thought everyone knew the story of Sodom and Gomorra.  1 Corinthians Chapter 6: Verse 9 says “Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God?  Do not be deceived:  Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders, nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.”  The inspired writer goes on in verse 18 to say “Flee from sexual immorality.  All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body.  Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, who you have received from God?  You are not your own;  you were bought at a price.  Therefore honor God with your body.”

 

It gets even worse in Revelations Chapter 21 Verse 8 when God says “But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars- their place will be in the fiery lake of burning sulfur.”      Proverbs 30: 5 says “Every word of God is flawless; he is a shield to those who take refuge in him.  Do not add to his words, or he will rebuke you and prove you a liar.”     Surely I cannot have been so wrong about what a loving man he is.  He wouldn’t purposely hurt me.

 

As much as I study the Word, I couldn’t find until last night with Mommajack at church the passage that commands my attendance in church three times a week.  The scripture actually says we are not to forsake the assembly of brethren and that is subject to the days and times the brethren choose, which is at our convenience, with the exception of the commandment to meet on the Lord’s Day and take communion.  It is in Hebrews Chapter 10 verse 25 and I looked it up in my Greek translation to make sure the wording was correct:  “Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but encouraging  one another; and so much mor