Return from Cancun

 

I awoke to his soft embrace, cuddling me from behind.  I could feel him so hard and yet so tender.  I love waking up next to him!  I want to wake up next to him every morning of my life!

 

It was 5:00 am but we were so rested that we were wide awake.  His love making is so passionate and yet so gentle.  I’ve never experienced anything so wonderful as sex with Alan Schreier.  He is so giving, so thoughtful and so concerned that I enjoy myself.  No one has ever cared if I were enjoying myself.  No one ever took the time to see that I was pleased before ensuring their own pleasure.  I have come to learn how to satisfy myself quickly so that intercourse would be good for me as well, but with Alan Schreier I am reminded to take it slow and enjoy the ride.

 

I enjoy him so much, on so many levels.  He’s my friend and confidant.  He’s smart and persistent, making him an excellent business partner.  He’s a loving and nurturing father to his son and is kind and caring toward Jamie and Daniel Capiro.  I would love him immensely for any ONE of these qualities and am overjoyed to have all of them in this one gorgeous man.

 

We have now boarded American Flight #2190 for Miami and are sitting on the runway ready to depart Cancun.  It has been a wonderful four days, but I am not sad to leave, as my adventure has only yet begun.

 

It was interesting to observe both of us under stress.  The Cancun Airport was hot and packed.  The attendants were slow and generally inefficient.  We stood in line for an hour under circumstances that would otherwise have driven me screaming outside to “breathe”.  Alan Schreier is always fidgeting, so although he didn’t complain, I sensed it was difficult for him to wait and I know the heat bothers him.  Despite this I felt safe with him and remained calm.  He maintained a smile and didn’t complain or give any sense of feeling agitated.  The more I see of his exquisite nature, the more I love him.

 

I love how patient and considerate he is.  I never have to worry about him taking advantage of any one.  He doesn’t cut in line, steal or do any of the things my other mates have done to mortify me.

 

During our trip, while sitting on the rocks and watching the tide come in, I tried to learn more about him.  Wanting to know more how to please him I asked what he loved most about Carol and Sheila.  He said, without hesitation that he loved Carol’s great beauty.  He said that she had been somewhat nurturing.  He said he loved Sheila’s spirit and tenacity.  Later he told me she was a great cook and I know they have been great friends.  He went a step further and said he loves my soul and that I shouldn’t change a thing.  I still want to be more beautiful (thinner) for him.  He said he thought I was beautiful for the first time on this trip, but it was a reflex response to my telling him how handsome he is.  (My constant babbling about it must have made him uncomfortable.)  I have found that sort of weird.  It is usually what I hear most from men, but not from Alan Schreier, which leads me to wonder if by comparison he just never really thought of me that way, or if perhaps he sees me for who and what I really am?

 

I have no doubt that the vast majority of people see the image I project and not what I truly am.  I am beautiful on the inside, but my exterior needs a lot of shaping up.  Could Alan Schreier be so perceptive as to see through the mirage?  He has always been attracted to beautiful women and I feel he has had to compromise to accept me in my current shape.

 

Fear.  Hard to believe someone who is the poster child for strength and resilience could be so riddled with fear.  He speaks of his friend’s relationships and says of the ones that didn’t work out that the woman was manipulative or that she wasn’t a challenge.  I am manipulative in virtually every sense of the word, but justify it to myself by believing the people being orchestrated aren’t aware of it and that it’s for the g