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I acknowledge that sometimes abusers use forgiveness as manipulation, but that is not what God intended forgiveness to be, and it’s so important that we separate the two.

Because when someone weaponizes Scripture like that, they’re not pointing you to healing—they’re trying to control you. They’re trying to rush you, silence you, or keep access to you. And that’s not biblical. That’s not love. That’s not God.

God never asks you to ignore abuse. He never asks you to stay in harm’s way. He never asks you to pretend something didn’t happen just so someone else can feel comfortable or avoid accountability. 

Forgiveness, the way God calls us to it, is not about protecting the person who hurt you—it’s about freeing yourself from what they did.

And there’s a big difference between forgiveness and reconciliation.

Forgiveness is something you can do with God, on your own, in your own time, between you and Him.

Reconciliation involves the other person—and that requires repentance, change, and safety. And sometimes, that doesn’t happen. And when it doesn’t, it’s okay to have boundaries. It’s okay to step away. It’s okay to protect your peace and your well-being.

So if you’ve ever felt pressured to forgive in a way that felt rushed, forced, or unsafe… I just want to say this clearly:

That was not God’s intention. Like with all things, the person behind something can help determine whether or not it’s good or bad.