The hosts turn judge on the Diddy verdict — one hands down 20 years over the Cassie tape, the other gives him 90 days, and it only gets less responsible from there. Plus: the Bitcoin-Nasdaq bloodbath, a Google Gemini-approved tax plan, Nancy Pelosi vs. the S&P 500, Trump rescheduling weed, and a confession about a secret Road Rage podcast built on extracting apologies from strangers. Kidnappers beware — the 0.0008 ETH goes down with the ship.