This is my take on raising girls. I obviously don’t know it all, or Jamie would be in church.  More about that at the end.  All or most of these things you are already doing.

 

1. Build the child’s self esteem.  How a child feels about herself and thus how she will interact with others is largely dependent on how she feels about herself.  Express your belief in her virtues, and her abilities and she will see herself in the mirror that you create.  You and I were so far apart in age, that I didn’t see much of how you were raised, but I know that Mom always told me I was capable of doing anything and I believed it.  Dad and I didn’t talk much, but when he did say something to me, it was usually positive or at the very least seen as constructive.  I felt like my parents, and grandparents  believed in me and they were the smartest people I knew, so I thought they couldn’t be wrong.

2. Encourage primary greatness.  There are two kinds of greatness;  Primary greatness which comes from a principle centered character and Secondary greatness which is the greatness the world acknowledges.  Primary greatness comes from the Bible principals you are teaching the girls.  The challenge is to not let secondary greatness (looks, brains, talent, popularity etc.) be relied on in place of  primary greatness.   Secondary greatness is the result of primary greatness and cannot replace it.  You both know all you need to know about teaching God’s principals.

3. Develop their interests.  When you detect real talent in your girls, encourage them to develop it and give them a lot of positive feed back along the way.  Momma Jacquie always thought I could be a movie star and she encouraged poise and flamboyant style.  She would make a huge fuss over me being able to walk with books on my head and when I wasn’t under them, she made sure my nose was in them.  She encouraged me to read books about developing social skills, like How To Win Friends and Influence People, Psycho Cybernetics, The Richest Man in Babylon, Think and Grow Rich, The Power of Positive Thinking…  At first, at the age of 8 or 9, I complained that the books were too hard, but she kept assuring me that I had the ability to read and learn at that level and I believed her and did.  My ability to guide WildLife on Easy Street and be in the public eye is a result of all that early positive reinforcement.

4. Create an enjoyable family life.  Try to make your home more fun, more relaxing and more satisfying than anything else your daughters may be influenced by.  This is not a call for laziness.  When I look back on my childhood, the best things I remember were us all working together in the lawn care business.  There was a sense of camaraderie in working together that exceeded anything I was involved in outside our family.  I remember Mom always had some kind of craft project going and in retrospect I think she did it to stimulate our creativity.  I don’t see her doing those things now for her own pleasure.  Coming home was always a good thing.  We never had to worry about what kind of mood our parents would be in, or had any reason to dread.  We were expected to clean our rooms (although I was awful at that) and to take care of the animals and the yard, but we were encouraged to do so rather than forced.  We pitched in because we didn’t want to let the “team” down.

5. Plan things together.  I don’t remember us doing this as a family, but Jamie and I do and it is a great source of excitement.  We get together at least once a week, and often more, to plan for the growth of WildLife on Easy Street, to plan events, conference trips, newsletters and to brainstorm over lunch with our “idea books”.  It tells her, “I think your ideas matter and that you have something worthwhile to contribute.”  Three years ago, Jamie was too shy to order for herself off a menu, but now she gives interviews to the press and goes out soliciting donations and reporters.  She believes she has something valuab