Howie Sees and Hears Me In His Dreams

 

This was actually 1/21/2003 and labeled wrong.

Howie writes to Carole

I had the strangest experience last night.  I have had trouble sleeping lately and last night was worse.  Sometimes when this happens I go downstairs into the recliner and can sleep there better.  Somewhere around 3am, still awake but perhaps in an interim state, I felt like you were next to the recliner, in the kind of position one uses to sit on the floor with both legs curled under to one side, but elevated as if you were sitting on a stool next to the recliner except there is none, and I could have sworn I heard your voice. I turned and was startled that you were not there, and then startled at having expected you to be.  I knew what you said very clearly, a short sentence, when I "heard" it, but was so startled that I could not remember it when I recovered from the sensation of being startled.  I hope you have a great day.  For starters, one that does not send you racing for guns!

 

Carole writes Howie: 

 

Dear Howie,   I am honoured that you dream of me.  The seated position you describe is so typical of how I feel around you.  I wish to be close, yet I am always looking up to you in admiration.  The elevation would represent the way your kindness lifts me up and draws me in, ever closer to you.  What I said wouldn’t matter because words are soon forgotten.  It is how you felt that matters.  This is where I hope it went well because most people say I scare them half to death in their dreams.

 

I spend so much time on the road, looking at property, that I am always thrilled when I turn down a road I have never been before.  It is so rare.  Being so close to you is like discovering a new path.  I am really enjoying the scenery.  I am increasingly in awe of your humble attitude considering the scope of your knowledge, understanding, education and talent.  The poem was great.  I'd really like a digital copy if you don't feel it was too personal between you and Kit and Jeff.  Your delivery of it last night was excellent and I enjoyed seeing how you work a crowd with your charm.

 

It seems I have had to pry your education and career history out of you and I wonder if you hold back for fear of embarrassing me because I was a high school drop out and waitress?  Like everything else in my life, I am happy with the end result and can only credit the path even where it seemed off course.

 

I especially want to know who you are inside and how you came to be.  Being able to feel your goodness is not the same as being able to comprehend the complexity.  Perhaps it is your essence I feel.  That is a far more simple aspect that permeates all of the rest of who you are.  When you felt so vulnerable in my arms I described it from my perspective, as in letting go of that last breath, but I don't know how you experienced that, or if you can even put it in words.

 

I know, from the way I feel when we are making love, that it feels to me  like passing from a troubled earthly life, to the spirit realm, because I have experienced that release in past life regression.  When I am one with you I feel that transition to tranquility.  You hinted at the same sensation when you said the world ceases to matter.  I never really thought about sexual intimacy as being a foretaste, or a remembrance of, a more spiritual existence to this degree.  It is a beautiful morning!  Carole

 

Howie writes Carole:

 

I don't hesitate to reveal things because of your background.  I am genuinely in awe of what you have dealt with in your life and how much you have overcome to become who you are.  I could never have done it.  And in fact, I personally feel that without any of the advantages I have had of these diplomas you have accomplished far, far more than I have. 

 

I did not realize we had not talked about that part of my background.  Sometimes I avoid mentioning the infamous "Hahvad" Business School because I feel a little embarrassed because I