Four Months of Bliss Carole writes Howie 3/2/03 Dear Howie, I just spent the last couple of hours reading back over our letters and getting a sense of the time line involved. Your celebration of the first got me thinking along those lines I suppose. What a glorious four months! I enjoy you more with every thought, every encounter. It is like the awe you described of watching lava flow or in the way a bud will open. I am so happy to have this time to get to know you and to experience this unfolding. My mother and grandmother asked about you this morning. My father and I worked on the gift shop door today for an hour in the rain. Not that I was any help, but he seems to really enjoy the camaraderie. I hope the weather was better at Disney. They probably have a deal with The Big Guy for Disney styled weather. I am chilled to the bone, but don't want to get in the hot tub with the screen guys here. I will look forward to warming my feet up against you later on. I would rather not spend the night with you while you have company. They have come a long way to be with you and I do not wish to intrude on their time. If they were going to be here a week I'd insist that I didn't want to be away from you that long, but a day or two probably won't kill me. I don't remember if you said they are here Thurs and Fri or Fri and Sat. Just let me know which days. I really should get the trust documents done for the seven properties from last week. I will see you at about 6:45, but will be thinking of you virtually every moment in between. Just for the record, the teal rabbit did its thing in 40 or 45 seconds. I am not sure about the last five seconds as I was falling out of the chair, screaming in ecstasy. What a great toy! Thanks again. Love, Carole I Carry Howie With Me Everywhere Carole writes Howie 3/9/03 Dear Howie, Thank you for last night. I enjoyed the game (much to my surprise) and especially enjoyed seeing you have a good time. Your enthusiasm is contagious. I especially enjoyed reconnecting with you last night. You breathe new life into me. You arouse a wanting in me that is foreign to my nature. There isn't anything that I want for. I am content for the most part with whatever the day may bring, but when I am near you, it is different. Restraining myself from touching you, kissing you, being within your aura; is truly a test of will. When I do have the opportunity to reconnect with you physically, I cannot restrain the passion that makes me want you so badly. Funny, the image that comes to mind: I raised Catera, the retarded bob cat, and for the first year, he couldn't remember how to eat, but he would be so hungry that he would just bury his face in the food and inhale as hard as he could. That is kind of how I feel when I get close to you. I just want to bury my face in you and inhale you through every pore. Feeling your arms around me, much like the feeling of you inside me, is a cellular memory that I carry with me everywhere. Even when you are miles away you are ever present. Life is SO good! With Love, Carole When You Feel Clothes On Your Body You are Wearing Me Carole writes Howie 3/10/03 Dear Howie, Just thinking of you and reaching out to let you know. When you feel the warmth of the sun on your face, know I am there, kissing you softly. When you feel the heat of the Jacuzzi on your skin, know that it is the heat of my desire for you. When you feel the weight of your clothes upon your body, know that you are wearing me. I feel so connected to you and all that is beautiful.

 

I've been writing my story since I was able to write, but when the media goes to share it, they only choose the parts that fit their idea of what will generate views.  If I'm going to share my story, it should be the whole story.  The titles are the dates things happened. If you have any interest in who I really am please start at the beginning of this playlist: http://savethecats.org/

 

I know there will be people who take things out of conte