The Joy of Being With Howie Makes Up For All The Former Abuse By Men

 

Carole writes Howie 3/26/03:

 

Dear Howie,  I had to start the USDA meetings at 7:30 and just now broke for lunch and wanted to come spend it with you.  John Kirtland is here from Ringling (you met him at the open house) and he asked me to contact Richard Froemming again about allowing John to sit on our advisory board.  He said Richard has cancer and is spending most of his time in the hospital these days, but still has a

tremendously strong outlook.  I like Richard and wish to make contact with him to see if there is anything I can do to help him.  John seemed to think this whole experience has made Richard a better man from a spiritual standpoint and often that is just what illness is meant to do.  No sense suffering after you got the message though.

 

After you had filled out answers to 200 questions earlier in the day, I am sorry that I burdened you with two more (essay types at that).  Thank you for your heartfelt answers and for taking the time to further contemplate the one about your business decisions and to clarify your position to me.  It takes a lot of courage to admit fear.

 

My reason for asking that is to try and figure a way that we can help each other reach our fullest potential and to help us find ways that will enable us to experience our greatest satisfaction.  I can't even begin to know how to implement something like that if I don't know what you want.  Thus the question.  As usual, your answer was well thought out, well said and easily understood.  I appreciate you sharing it with me.

 

My question about your desires in a mate stem from not having any idea why you, of all people, aren't one of those ecstatically happy, married to the same woman for thirty years, types.  You well could have been a relationship consultant because you understand the dynamics of the golden rule and incorporate them into every one of your relationships.  You really are the rake (is that spelled right?  I've never read a romance novel).  The dark mysterious shroud about you is, "Why is this wonderful man single?"  What I am finding, as you described in the novels, is that there is no darkness in the reason.  The reason is perfectly justifiable, once the mystery is removed, and it turns out the hero really was a man of honour and integrity.  I'm just trying to figure out the mystery.

 

Also, I am fearful of inadvertently driving you away.  You will never hear me yell at you or anyone.  You will never hear me say nasty things to you, or anyone.  You can talk to my ex-husband and any man from my past to verify that I never yell and I am never mean.  I will give you contact info on all of them I can find if you wish to do so.  I was absolutely appalled at the way Mary spoke to Lewis on several occasions last Sunday, but particularly in respect to the glasses.  There is no thing of more value than your mate and I thought her tone and words were castratingly cruel.  There is no one that I have been more harsh with than my own daughter, and I expect far too much from her, but as you come to know her, I think you will find that she would not describe me as someone who has ever yelled or been nasty with her.

 

I've been told that my weakness in relationships is that I don't need anyone, or at least that I don't act like I do.  My second husband was having a hard time deciding between Pam and me.  She was ugly, incompetent, needy, spiteful and purposefully caused his divorce from Gladys in hopes that Don would marry her.  Later Gladys told me that Don had raped his 15 year old niece and that hadn't

helped matters.  When I asked our secretary, who knew Pam and I well, what it was that Don saw in her, Anne said "Pam needs him and you don't".  Thus began my career of cars breaking down and getting locked out of things so that Don could feel useful.  Fixing cars and breaking into locked houses and cars was Don's greatest talent, so I found a way for him to s