Today the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission voted to prohibit Trap, Neuter and Release of feral cats and to eradicate feral cats by killing them.

Dear Howie,  I spent the afternoon finishing the editing of the emails you so kindly kept and copied me with.  I needed the distraction of your precious words and thoughts to ease the blow of today's events.  It's like the first time you realise that life isn't fair or that the good guys don't always win, when your confidence in the "system" is shattered.  I wonder how many times you can lose that innocence before becoming cynical?  As tragic as this is, I know that life is unfolding as it should.

 

Afterward, everyone was crying.  I had to drive and couldn't afford myself the luxury of breaking down, so I kept focused on you.  Everyone kept saying that they wished they were as strong as I am, and as stoic, but I couldn't tell them why I was able to deal with the disappointment.  I couldn't tell them that I lean on you for that strength.  I couldn't tell them that I would have the comfort of your arms tonight, because they don't have that.  11 of us went to lunch afterward to commiserate.  Linda and Frank had each other, but the other 8 women at the table are all aging women who have no mate to comfort them.

 

This whole issue was a gender based argument, because typically women don't hunt nor delight in shooting defenseless animals.  Of course that lead to a lot of discussion about how these women had chosen their mission of protecting feral cats over having relationships with men who didn't care.  The last half hour was Pamela who is 54 and who had way too much wine at lunch.  She said she had never been able to find a man that was capable of washing his own underwear, much less understanding of how she could spend hours cleaning litter boxes.  She said how much she hates being lonely and never having anyone who was there for her, but that she had chosen that over being with a man who had no comprehension of the value of life other than his own.  As you saw, she is an attractive woman with a Masters degree, a good job and a kind and nurturing heart, and yet she has never found a person who would be compliment to her life.  That is sad.  That could have been me.

 

She said that she was glad to see that there was a man in my house and hoped that you would be supportive of my efforts.  Because she asked, I told her that you are my rock, but I would like to have been able to tell her just how wonderful you are.  I can't tell them, without making them more miserable, but I can tell you.  You are all I ever needed.  All I ever wanted.  I thank God for you!  Love, Carole

 

Howie replied:

 

Thanks Carole.  I hope you understand that you have brought a peace and purpose to my life that, for me, is every bit as meaningful as the things that I am so glad that I can bring to your life.

 

(Note from the future.  I am pretty sure this was after the FWC meeting where Vernon Yates attacked me and ended up in a fist fight with Lance Ramos, who had jumped in to protect me and Barbara Frank.  Vernon Yates had ran up behind me and raised his arm to strike me from behind when Barbara saw it and stepped in between us.  His blow landed on tiny little Barbara and Lance Ramos was having none of that.  Lance had no affinity for me or my volunteers, but he wasn’t going to let that brute attack a woman and the two of them rolled on the lawn in a fist fight.  Lance yelled at us to run, which we did.  Lance was all muscle so we had no worries about who was going to win that match.)

 

I've been writing my story since I was able to write, but when the media goes to share it, they only choose the parts that fit their idea of what will generate views.  If I'm going to share my story, it should be the whole story.  The titles are the dates things happened. If you have any interest in who I really am please start at the beginning of this playlist: http://savethecats.org/

 

I know there wil