The post 2015 Darwin Awards – July 4th Nominees — Papa’s Basement 457 appeared first on Papa's Basement.

For those unfamiliar with them, the Darwin Awards are given to those who, to quote the website, "salute the improvement of the human genome by honoring those who accidentally remove themselves from it." Well, this July 4th weekend (yes, I know the episode is abominably late), we have tales of three people who, from the looks of it, are going to make a strong case for Darwin Awards this year. I don't want to give away too much, but the stories involve fireworks, more fireworks and a bayou full of alligators. It's a strong crop by anyone's standards.

Papa's Basement is no one trick pony, however. From the death of the intellectually limited, we cover one of the real big stories of the week - the US women's soccer team winning the 2015 Women's World Cup in a resounding victory over their bitter rivals, Japan. Blah blah girl power, blah blah Abby Wambach kissed her wife, Sarah Huffman, live on television after the victory. That's all well and good (despite how dismissive my "blah blahs" may sound).

But the real story is just how damn crazy Hope Solo, the team's fetching goalkeeper, is...and just how astoundingly unflattering the nude photos of her that leaked several months ago are. Believe me, I find Hope Solo very, very attractive, and her rap sheet for physically assaulting multiple relatives only leads me to conclude she would be an insane fuck, the sexual equivalent of sticking your cock inside a mechanical bull. But the photos of her naked are, to quote my friend Karly, "aggressive...like she's saying 'you're gonna eat this when you get home, goddammit!'" Google the nudes (as we did live on air) and play along at home with the latest episode of Papa's Basement.

Click here to listen to the latest episode of Papa's Basement in your browser or here to open and listen in iTunes. (Or just use the player right above this text if you're feeling lazy.) Android users (or those that hate Apple's podcast app) click here to listen and subscribe via Stitcher.

And, for those feeling especially selfless who want to help out big time, instructions on leaving an iTunes review, which helps us get new listeners:

DESKTOP/LAPTOP USERS: Click here to visit the iTunes Papa's Basement webpage. On the subsequent browser page, click "View in iTunes". Once iTunes launches, click on "Ratings and Reviews", located near the top of the page.

IPHONE/IPAD USERS: Click here to launch the podcasts app. Select the the "search" magnifying glass in the lower right, look for "Papa's Basement", and click the icon of the show (the sad clown face) that appears under "Podcasts" at the bottom of the screen. After doing that, select "reviews", then "write a review" on the next screen. Easy as calculus after an all-night bender! Thank you. And apologies for making you read the words "click here" 46 times in a row.

The post 2015 Darwin Awards – July 4th Nominees — Papa’s Basement 457 appeared first on Papa's Basement.