Do you even have a clue about what it was like to fuck in 2017? Maybe you threw a few bones here and there, but you'll never stack up to a unicorn. Yeah you heard that right, unicorns fucked the shit out of 2017 and we're not sorry either. Get the lube bitches, this is only part ONE of THREE. You better be ready to go all night you little slut!

Be my good little unicorn love slave and hit us up on Twitter @UnicornReport, or find us on SLS.com DragonTatsNTucson and TastyMuffinLover. We are also a proud member of the Adult Social Network (ASNRADIO.com). Enjoy the show as long as you are over 18. If you are under 18, turn this shit off NOW before I tell your parental units and you know I will, cuz hey, unicorns can.