I worked too late last night, running out of light to bike by, and had to hitch a ride home with Jamie.  She showed me texts she’d sent to Justin and I was impressed with her frankness, her meekness and the way she took ownership of the situation.  This was my response to her today.

 

I don’t know the details of your break up, but I was impressed that you took ownership of it in your text to Justin.  When things go wrong it’s easy to want to cast blame.  That’s what most people do and that’s what kills most relationships.    

 

I know how hard it is for you to be open about your feelings too, because keeping things inside feels like self preservation, but I think it just leads to self torment.  You will have hundreds of “conversations” in your head, trying to come to a better outcome, but that can’t happen.  Those conversations have to be with the one you are trying to work something out with and they have to be from a position of inner strength.

 

That inner strength comes from not being vested in changing the other person but rather understanding that you are both on a journey.  You’ve come into each other’s lives for reasons that aren’t clear to either of you, but are always the same; to be better, stronger, more enlightened and thus happier people in the end.  I think the same is true of the animals we meet along the way too.  You know that I believe Babylon and I last crossed paths thousands of years ago, and we knew each other the instant our eyes locked across the room.

 

Why would my soulmate from so long ago come into my life as a cat?  Maybe because I was in a loving relationship with Howie and it wouldn’t have served his purpose to rock that boat.  I learned a few lessons from him.  

 

• Never be afraid to hug someone or show your love.

• Be watchful over those you love and try to protect them and serve them.

• Look beyond the obvious.  

 

I was so sure I knew his medical condition and his lizard habits so well that I wasn’t alarmed at all at the fact that he was always sharing my water with me, even though he had plenty of fresh water daily.  He would always be pukey for a few days after eating a lizard, so this didn’t seem any different, until he started acting like he couldn’t see well.  Even then, that didn’t seem life threatening.  Your grandfather’s heart failure was due to untreated diabetes too.  Maybe I missed the message Babylon came to deliver about that.  

 

You and I are genetically predisposed to diabetes so Babylon’s message to me is that there isn’t any sugar or carb that is worth dying for.  I have a mission to accomplish here and I have to be healthy enough to see it through.  I hope you will take his warning seriously as well.

 

As hard as it’s been to find him in all the millions and millions of shared souls out there, we did find each other, and we were better for it.  I think I helped him overcome the anxiety of being alone to an extent, because when ever I traveled he could count on you and that had to give him some sense of security.  

 

Your text to Justin was the first step in the healing process.  Who knows how it will go, but I’m proud of you for taking that first step.  It doesn’t matter if you end up back together so much as it matters that you become comfortable  with your eternal nature.  I want you to be able to see relationships for what they are.  They are not final.  Not even in death.  I think in between lives we get to see the whole picture and then we grant the Universe the right to obscure it to us so that we have the great pleasure of learning and growing each time around.  

 

 I am at peace because I know that everyone around me is doing the best they know how at this point.  I love my brother, regardless of what he’s done, because I know we both came into each other’s lives to learn important lessons.  I love my mother, even though she’s always loved Chuck more, for the same reasons.  I can’t say that I love Joe, but I actually don’t harbor any ill will toward h