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2020: The Good, The Bad & The Ugly (A Front Liners Year In Review)
Show Notes:
This year has been a lot of things, and it has called us to be flexible, adaptable and responsive in a myriad of ways.
Thanks to my roles as a trauma therapist and the director of the largest counselling clinic in my area, as well as being a mom of school-aged kids, spouse to a stay at home parent stuck with kids all day, friend and family member, I have had so many vantage points to observe some of the challenges that COVID has brought to light for us.
Remember, we increase our power in situations when we can accurately identify what we’re working with and the challenges we’re facing. We can only help something when we know about it. We have to give voice to the challenges to have any chance of engaging them. There is value in talking about the good the bad and the ugly of what this year has called us into and drawn out of us.
· 2020 has been a year of anxiety.
Shattered assumptions refers to our general assumptions as humans that our lives are generally predictable. We’ve all experienced shattered assumptions this year. When we experience shattered assumptions, it is a moment of reckoning. A moment of realizing that the world and life is not as predictable as human nature would like to try and pretend that it is. And when we realize our vulnerability, the degree that we lack control and predictability in our everyday lives, we feel it in our bodies, often as anxiety.
· 2020 has been a year of fear.
Fear is about a real and present danger. For First Responders and Front Line Workers the fear has been real and a combination of the obvious interactions in the work you do, but also the “average Joe” experiences of having to be mindful of the grocery store trips, or dentist visits, or what your kids bring home from school. The fear centre of our brains is that it is not meant to operate for any length of time. The challenge with what we have faced in 2020 is that the fear feels constant, and yet the markers of safety are also confusingly all around us – our bodies don’t know what to do with it. I’m in my home, I’m safe and warm and fine…yet I might also feel fearful that I’ve just brought home the plague from shift today…your brain doesn’t know how to hold these at the same time and it leaves us in this awkward dissonance that is hard to make sense of and impossible to settle into.
· 2020 has been a year of grief.
In addition to the grief witnessed and felt at work, there is also likely grief that is personal and on varying levels. Grief is connected to loss, and for many there have been a number of losses this year. As a culture, we’re not well versed in how to hold grief and move through it. It is uncomfortable so we try to divert from it or avoid it. The challenge with grief is it’s a bit like driving and skidding on ice – you have to steer into it to correct. Much like the skid, if you try to fight it, by avoiding or distracting, it will often make it so much worse. But in the pace of this year, working overtime shifts, short-staffed and exhausted, there has been little time to process grief well even if we knew how to steer into it.
· 2020 has been a year of loneliness.
Social distancing has been a significant weapon in the battle against COVID-19, but we are also seeing the toll on mental health and wellness at all levels. We are lonely and overwhelmed and trying to distract and numb in whatever ways we know how.
2020 has also been…
· 2020 has been a year of being pushed to our limits.
This year we have been called to adapt. You have shown up, day after day. You have witnessed so many hard moments. You have managed through the fear and anxiety and grief and loneliness and you are somehow still putting one foot in front of the other. You have probably even found some moments of normal, maybe even enjoyment, in the midst of it.
· 2020 has been a year of challenging our thinking.
This year has called us to step outside of the monotony and the status quo of our thinking. Assumptions were shattered, our vulnerability had the spotlight turned onto it full blast, and we have had to sit with that and wrestle with it a bit.
· 2020 has been a year of gratitude.
As humans, we have a tendency neurobiologically to place a high value on negative experiences. Biologically this makes sense as negative experiences are ones the brain perceives as being relevant to shape future behaviour. Psychologists and Beuro-Scientists talk of a ratio of positive experiences or interactions to negative ones – usually a 5:1 ratio. We need more positive experiences or interactions to outweigh a single negative one because our brains don’t naturally allocate as much space for them. Gratitude is a part of this, and one we have need to rely more heavily on to get through this year.
Episode Challenge:
Three things to focus our intentions on going in to 2021:
1. Take time. Time to breathe, time to feel, time to grieve, time to reflect, time to be grateful. All of the things that allow us to shape the direction we want to go begins with us taking the time to shape it.
2. Get Grateful. Because you see and participate in so many negative moments and aspects of experience in your work, you have to be even more intentional about exposing your brain to positive experiences, interactions and thoughts to hit the ratio to counterbalance the intensity of your daily life. Take time every day, multiple times a day if you can, to pause and look carefully for moments that were good, enjoyable, calm, connected, silly, funny, interesting, hopeful… Notice these moments, scan for them throughout your day, catch them when they happen, and let them occupy space for more than the fleeting moments when they happened. If you are going to pour energy into any thing in your life for the coming year, this is the place to pour in.
3. Anchor. Last week’s episode we talked about anchoring in. Anchoring is about what we connect to, what we use to ground ourselves into a sense of safety, stability, connectedness, meaning and mattering. Notice what you tend to anchor into. Where do you derive a sense of meaning? What makes you feel like you matter? What helps you to feel calm, safe or stable? If a lot of your answers revolve around your work, I’m going to suggest that you work at investing in some other areas of your life to help offer some balance and additional support.
Connect, Rate, Review, Subscribe & Share!
Connect with me on Facebook and Instagram, or email me at [email protected]. I love hearing from you! Subscribe and share this podcast with those you know. I appreciate every like, rating and review – every single one helps this podcast to be seen by other First Responders & Front Line Workers out there. Help me on my mission to help others just like you to not only survive, but to thrive – both on the job and off.
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By Lindsay Faas
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Show Notes:
This year has been a lot of things, and it has called us to be flexible, adaptable and responsive in a myriad of ways.
Thanks to my roles as a trauma therapist and the director of the largest counselling clinic in my area, as well as being a mom of school-aged kids, spouse to a stay at home parent stuck with kids all day, friend and family member, I have had so many vantage points to observe some of the challenges that COVID has brought to light for us.
Remember, we increase our power in situations when we can accurately identify what we’re working with and the challenges we’re facing. We can only help something when we know about it. We have to give voice to the challenges to have any chance of engaging them. There is value in talking about the good the bad and the ugly of what this year has called us into and drawn out of us.
· 2020 has been a year of anxiety.
Shattered assumptions refers to our general assumptions as humans that our lives are generally predictable. We’ve all experienced shattered assumptions this year. When we experience shattered assumptions, it is a moment of reckoning. A moment of realizing that the world and life is not as predictable as human nature would like to try and pretend that it is. And when we realize our vulnerability, the degree that we lack control and predictability in our everyday lives, we feel it in our bodies, often as anxiety.
· 2020 has been a year of fear.
Fear is about a real and present danger. For First Responders and Front Line Workers the fear has been real and a combination of the obvious interactions in the work you do, but also the “average Joe” experiences of having to be mindful of the grocery store trips, or dentist visits, or what your kids bring home from school. The fear centre of our brains is that it is not meant to operate for any length of time. The challenge with what we have faced in 2020 is that the fear feels constant, and yet the markers of safety are also confusingly all around us – our bodies don’t know what to do with it. I’m in my home, I’m safe and warm and fine…yet I might also feel fearful that I’ve just brought home the plague from shift today…your brain doesn’t know how to hold these at the same time and it leaves us in this awkward dissonance that is hard to make sense of and impossible to settle into.
· 2020 has been a year of grief.
In addition to the grief witnessed and felt at work, there is also likely grief that is personal and on varying levels. Grief is connected to loss, and for many there have been a number of losses this year. As a culture, we’re not well versed in how to hold grief and move through it. It is uncomfortable so we try to divert from it or avoid it. The challenge with grief is it’s a bit like driving and skidding on ice – you have to steer into it to correct. Much like the skid, if you try to fight it, by avoiding or distracting, it will often make it so much worse. But in the pace of this year, working overtime shifts, short-staffed and exhausted, there has been little time to process grief well even if we knew how to steer into it.
· 2020 has been a year of loneliness.
Social distancing has been a significant weapon in the battle against COVID-19, but we are also seeing the toll on mental health and wellness at all levels. We are lonely and overwhelmed and trying to distract and numb in whatever ways we know how.
2020 has also been…
· 2020 has been a year of being pushed to our limits.
This year we have been called to adapt. You have shown up, day after day. You have witnessed so many hard moments. You have managed through the fear and anxiety and grief and loneliness and you are somehow still putting one foot in front of the other. You have probably even found some moments of normal, maybe even enjoyment, in the midst of it.
· 2020 has been a year of challenging our thinking.
This year has called us to step outside of the monotony and the status quo of our thinking. Assumptions were shattered, our vulnerability had the spotlight turned onto it full blast, and we have had to sit with that and wrestle with it a bit.
· 2020 has been a year of gratitude.
As humans, we have a tendency neurobiologically to place a high value on negative experiences. Biologically this makes sense as negative experiences are ones the brain perceives as being relevant to shape future behaviour. Psychologists and Beuro-Scientists talk of a ratio of positive experiences or interactions to negative ones – usually a 5:1 ratio. We need more positive experiences or interactions to outweigh a single negative one because our brains don’t naturally allocate as much space for them. Gratitude is a part of this, and one we have need to rely more heavily on to get through this year.
Episode Challenge:
Three things to focus our intentions on going in to 2021:
1. Take time. Time to breathe, time to feel, time to grieve, time to reflect, time to be grateful. All of the things that allow us to shape the direction we want to go begins with us taking the time to shape it.
2. Get Grateful. Because you see and participate in so many negative moments and aspects of experience in your work, you have to be even more intentional about exposing your brain to positive experiences, interactions and thoughts to hit the ratio to counterbalance the intensity of your daily life. Take time every day, multiple times a day if you can, to pause and look carefully for moments that were good, enjoyable, calm, connected, silly, funny, interesting, hopeful… Notice these moments, scan for them throughout your day, catch them when they happen, and let them occupy space for more than the fleeting moments when they happened. If you are going to pour energy into any thing in your life for the coming year, this is the place to pour in.
3. Anchor. Last week’s episode we talked about anchoring in. Anchoring is about what we connect to, what we use to ground ourselves into a sense of safety, stability, connectedness, meaning and mattering. Notice what you tend to anchor into. Where do you derive a sense of meaning? What makes you feel like you matter? What helps you to feel calm, safe or stable? If a lot of your answers revolve around your work, I’m going to suggest that you work at investing in some other areas of your life to help offer some balance and additional support.
Connect, Rate, Review, Subscribe & Share!
Connect with me on Facebook and Instagram, or email me at [email protected]. I love hearing from you! Subscribe and share this podcast with those you know. I appreciate every like, rating and review – every single one helps this podcast to be seen by other First Responders & Front Line Workers out there. Help me on my mission to help others just like you to not only survive, but to thrive – both on the job and off.