Unpacking Ideas

21. Eric Berne on Games People Play


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In this episode we unpack Canadian psychiatrist and analyst Eric Berne's 1964 book "Games People Play."

This book explores...

  • The 6 different types of social interactions
  • The most common games people play
  • What intimacy is and why it is so rare
  • Links to Reading 

    Games People Play by Eric Berne

    *note* reading is not required to enjoy this episode!

    Host: Zach Stehura  UnpackingIdeas.com

    Guest: Sonya   @selfhelpsonya on TikTok & Instagram

    Theme Music: Polyenso

    Timestamps

    00:00:00 Intro

    00:04:04 The 6 Types of Interactions

    00:05:59 Withdrawal

    00:08:09 Procedures

    00:10:13 Rituals

    00:11:39 Emotional Stroking 

    00:14:28 Calculating how many strokes to give

    00:19:21 Pastimes/Small-talk 

    00:20:06 Types of Small-talk

    00:21:08 How a host determines the pastimes people play at a party

    00:24:08 The rules for small-talk

    00:27:16 Why we engage in small-talk

    00:28:38 The 3 Ego States

    00:29:25 The Parent Ego State

    00:29:45 The Child Ego State

    00:30:18 The Adult Ego State

    00:31:32 Complementary Transactions

    00:33:31 Crossed Transactions

    00:36:00 Child-Child Transaction

    00:38:04 Adult-Adult Transaction

    00:38:39 The 2 Levels of of an interaction (social level & psychological level)

    00:39:05 Superficial Transactions

    00:39:32 Ulterior Transactions

    00:39:46 Flirtatious Games

    00:42:32 A Thesaurus of Games

    00:42:36 "Look Ma, No Hands!"

    00:47:32 "Now I've got You, You Son-of-a-Bitch!"

    00:52:55 "Why Don't You, Yes But..."

    00:55:25 Intimacy

    00:56:00 The Uncorrupted Child 

    00:57:39 Operations ie. stating a need directly

    01:00:36 Why most people settle for games

    01:01:53 Closing Thoughts

    01:03:34 Outro 




     

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