Because millennial women are facing a unique set of stressors, guilt can be such a pervasive force in our lives. I want to break the cycle of girls and women being disproportionately affected by guilt, and joining me to discuss this is Saumya Dave, a writer, resident psychiatrist, and co-founder of thisisforHER. 

In today’s episode, Saumya and I discuss tools for understanding where your emotions stem from, how to process guilt, and ways to lift yourself out of a situation where you’re feeling guilt tripped. 

Saumya breaks down the difference between valid and unfounded guilt, and explains how getting really clear on what your values are can help you determine which kind of guilt you’re sitting with. She uses what she calls an ‘empathy thermostat’ to help her client to recognize when they’re taking on other people’s emotions or experiences. Oftentimes, guilt is piggybacking off another emotion like anger, loneliness, or fear, and we don’t even know it. 

There’s a certain contagious quality to guilt, but we can start to break that pattern by developing the muscle of saying no to things that are out of alignment. Saumya shares her tips for coming up with go-to responses and getting comfortable with upholding your standards. We also discuss what she does to stay grounded and reduce opportunities for guilt to creep in. 

Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music, or on your favorite podcast platform.

Topics Covered:

• Where guilt comes from 
• Why doing the right thing for ourselves can invoke guilt, especially for women 
• Learning to sit and be okay with the discomfort of guilt 
• How to approach difficult conversations with people who make you feel guilty 
• Prompts to practice treating yourself with the same compassion that you do with loved ones 

Resources mentioned 

• Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Emily Nagoski and Amelia Nagoski 

Follow Saumya

• Website 
• Instagram 

Subscribe for real talk, and podcast updates

• The Modern Millennial Newsletter

Follow me to say hi or share any feedback

• Instagram