Eric Adams rug-pulled $2M with a $NYC token — and the boys are furious because he stole their $DAWG coin idea. Also on deck: gold and silver ripping to all-time highs (aliens allegedly bred humans to mine it), the CLARITY Act delaying the altcoin bull run, a Chinese official's 13.5 seized tons of gold, Shaq dominating the WNBA at 50, and DMX crowned greatest crackhead writer ever.