The greatest burden a child must bear is the unlived life of the parent. (Carl Jung)

When we as parents (or coaches, mentors, teachers) don't actualize our own potential or hearken to our callings, we have one of the following effects on those following and looking up to us:

1. We live vicariously through them, putting pressure on them to finish our dreams for us. Then, nobody lives their lives, because they're busy aping the ones we were too afraid to live for ourselves. (Who will live your life if you do not?)
2. We suffocate them when we are afraid of them outshining us. Their souls shrivel and the light goes out of their eyes. This is the story of the Oedipal, devouring mother, or the evil stepmother in Tangled. This happens when we aren't actualized ourselves, and our children/students are all way have to ensure we are worth something.

In either case, we lose the person we love, because instead of inspiring them into expansion, we either drive them away, or we drive them to dilution and decay, thereby losing them through a thousand silent concessions.