Murder, murder, murder! In a Diminishing Returns first (not counting that Diminisode where we covered Knives Out), we take a look at a murder mystery movie! It's Murder on the Orient Express, taking aim at the 1974 Sidney Lumet film starring Albert Finney as Hercule Poirot and the 2017 Kenneth Branagh version in anticipation of its sequel, Death on the Nile, which was due out this week but has since been delayed until December. We considered delaying this episode but figured we couldn't be bothered.

Also covered are the 2001 Alfred Molina version, the 2010 episode of the Poirot TV series and the 2015 Japanese version.