Look. I know new iPhones are still like 8 months away. You know that I know that. But it’s not about me and it’s not about you. It’s about the rumors. Apparently, nobody bothered to tell the damn rumors. So, here we are, more than half a year out, and we’re already talking not about the new iPhones but the next ones.

So, let’s just agree that this is both a little silly and a lot awesome, and kick right into it.

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