In this episode, two simpletons simplify. But first, the weather. It’s snowing in Columbus. It’s swinging wildly between lava melt and ice age in Seattle. What did Al Gore fail to mention? William is grumpy about an upcoming journey into the Heart of Innovation, tries to get a sandwich, and serves up a carafe of whine until Luke Pez has had enough and attempts to end it all. Scott heads to the Deep South of Kentucky to steal William’s thunder, or maybe his sandwich. We rant about the AOL of social media as William tries to bring things into focus and Scott finally becomes friends with his family. Scott won’t easily escape now, and neither will the Flash! After a prom fashion tangent, we put on our clean jeans and head to the dance. Unfortunately, the dance is the “Update Office Every Three-and-a-Half Minutes Shuffle,” which has William facing the cold, hard fact that he’s renting his entire life. As the demons pour from the Whitening, we both realize that you can’t even trust water. Our Two Topic Episode™ begins in earnest as the TV Freight Train known as Scott incubates his Silicon Valley watching into fully-funded completeness. We discuss shake weights, startup bubbles, horse sex, and nerd archetypes until we settle on a mutual love for Big Head while playing “What Silicon Valley Character Are You?” (Hint. All of them). As William finds movie scripts at the bottom of the barrel, Angle-shape approves and we all move on to Word of the Week, which is “simplify.” As William shreds all the paper in the world, he wants somebody to take his basement… please! Scott attempts to save the U.S. Postal Service only to fall victim to his “To Be Filed” pile and the curse of a null modem cable. Luckily, he has a basement dragon. It’s all about what you need to survive, and 40 gallons of cables, a SCSI bin, a milk crate of broken tools, and a ten-percent dent won’t cut it. But a knife and a shovel might. Stuff is heavy, especially if you have to bug-out to the z-axis. Scott’s house becomes a library and he considers a unique daddy master class. William becomes a cloud app for his wife, but is still looking for that sandwich. We decide, at last, that this whole digital thing is here to stay and we’re gonna need a bigger shredder. Maybe it’s time for 1952 instead. Yes, Music in Rearview is here to help as 1973’s 1952 becomes a hookup and PUA-cultured time-warped 21st anniversary for Park Davis’ Myadec High-Potency vitamins, now at popular prices! Turns out 1952 was quite the Boom-Boom era as Rosemary Clooney goes Rosemary Looney and Botches everyone in sight. What is IN that vitamin!? That’s a whole lot of Yadda Yadda Yadda! Then we visit Doris Day who cheerily tells us that a Guy is a Creep and spins a stalkery tale of, well, let’s just leave it there. Don’t follow us inside, even if you do look familiar - and do NOT finish that song! So, with a licka-licka stamp, William visits a few days into the future where hopefully we will have this whole thing figured out. Clutch those PDFs, Grandpa.  Everything must go, save the iTarp!