New York Times bestselling author Hadley Vlahos, RN is known as @nursehadley to her 1.6 million TikTok followers. She joins Patrick to discuss her book, The In-Between: Unforgettable Encounters During Life’s Final Moments. Hear touching stories from hospice, the lessons she’s learned from her patients, the beautiful story of how she obtained a top secret red beans and rice recipe, and the legacy she aspires to be known for. Visit BigSeance.com/230 for more info.

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In this episode:

Intro :00

Who is Nurse Hadley Vlahos? :46

Patrick read Hadley’s book, The In-Between: Unforgettable Encounters During Life’s Final Moments, and cried every five pages! 3:14

Patrick’s experiences with hospice care, and a BIG thank you to Nurse Hadley and those in the field! 4:13

The fear of dying in pain. 6:08

The difference between dying in a hospital and dying under the care of hospice. 7:20

Hadley’s first experiences, what she’s learned, and how she’s grown since! “I was so shocked [when] I got into hospice! It is such a whole person experience. We really are making sure that not only the patient is taken care of, their mind/body/spirit, but their family as well. And I was not taught that in nursing school.” 8:31

“If you have religious trauma, maybe you don’t want to read some of these things. But I’ve been really shocked about the amount of people who say that this helped them with religious trauma. And they loved reading a book that says, ‘yes I was raised in the church, but I have now taken care of people from all backgrounds, all denominations, and I see that it can be beautiful and peaceful no matter what’, and they said that it has helped them.” 10:25

Hallucination vs. truly seeing dead loved ones. 11:58

Who are we to correct a dying loved one by telling them that they’re hallucinating and no one is in the room?! 14:40

Hadley hasn’t witnessed a patient who has had a bad experience when it comes to seeing dead loved ones at the end of life. 16:41

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, Christopher Kerr, and seeing a mist at the time of death. 17:49

Hospice isn’t in the business of speeding up death. Some patients actually live longer than expected once they’re comfortable and out of pain. 19:08

The “Surge of Energy” that some hospice patients experience before they die. 20:08

People who are described by loved ones as stoic, reserved, and introverted tend to wait to pass alone. People described by loved ones as open and extroverted tend to wait and pass with loved ones by their side. 22:49

Burnout, boundaries, and the struggle hospice nurses have of getting attached to their dying patients. 25:18

When caregiving is new. Choosing hospice care. 26:51

The lessons Nurse Hadley has learned about the way to treat people! 28:57

How do medical schools and nursing schools need to change in order to adequately prepare our nurses and doctors for end-of-life treatment? 30:52

“I’m going on a trip.” Nurse Hadley’s thoughts on what happens once we die and get to the Other Side. “Whatever is next is something that cannot be explained using the language we have, the references of our world that we have. It is just something that we cannot understand.” 34:41

“You cannot bring your own beliefs to the room. You need to leave them at the door.” 37:05

The story of the special, top secret red beans and rice recipe that a former patient shared with Hadley. 37:41

The Hadley House, Hadley's nonprofit family-centered hospice house that facilitates meaningful gatherings, allowing patients to celebrate their lives with loved ones. 40:05

Final thoughts from Nurse Hadley and other details about the book. 43:37

Outro 45:00

A special THANK YOU to Patreon supporters at the Super Paranerd and Parlor Guest level! 46:18

 

For more on Nurse Hadley Vlahos

NurseHadley.com

HadleyHouse.org

The In-Between on Amazon

TikTok: @nursehadley

Instagram: @nurse.hadley

Facebook: @nursehadley

 

 

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