The Laughing Warrior

24 - How to Become More Attractive with Every Breakup [Breaking Up With Honor]


Listen Later

In this episode we cover...

> Why you should get a second opinion on your breakup before you pull the trigger.

> One critical mistake to avoid during breakup if you don't want to end up running into the same painful dating patterns.

> Three "best practice" exercises to do before the actual conversation.

> How to tell if you're about to have a "F*** You" or a "Thank You" breakup.

> The exact step by step of how to approach the actual breakup conversation.

> One thing you absolutely must do if you want to "date up" in your next relationship

> And of course...How to use the pain after your breakup to make yourself even more attractive.


Here are a few of the major takeaways...(there are many more of these in the recording)

1. We recommend your breakup be done for reasons that remain after you get grounded and collect yourself. Emotions can be resolved. Misaligned values, a partner who lies to you constantly, or is physically violent or manipulative are all valid reasons to end things quickly.

2. Break up from "I". Avoid playing the victim. Be responsible for your end of why you think things should end. Avoid making this into a giant list of things the other person did wrong - all that will accomplish is create more bad blood between the two of you. Do talk about what isn't working. Do keep the conversation as a conversation rather than an ultimatum. Sometimes you just need to talk things out.

3. If you both decide breaking up is the right move, then there's room to make this a beautiful experience. Lead with vulnerability. Talk about why you love and care about this person. Share some of the treasured memories you created together. Apologize for where you caused the other person pain. Hold space for their pain and listen to understand, not to be "right". Give yourself time and space to give the end of this relationship the time and respect it deserves. Grieve the loss of a shared future together.

4. Moving forward - it's important to give yourself a minimum of 30 days before you begin dating again. Starting up sooner means you drag all your emotional baggage and unhealed patterns into the next relationship, guaranteeing that this new relationship will be a repeat of the last one. If you don't heal, you'll never start attracting and dating healthier, more compatible partners. Warrior up. Sit with your pain. Understand why it's happening (without blaming it on your ex). Look for the books and videos you're naturally drawn to. Learn, grow, and heal.


...more
View all episodesView all episodes
Download on the App Store

The Laughing WarriorBy Rob Wang + Scott Pagliaccio