Daryus says fuck the million-dollar house — he'd buy one Bitcoin, dump $1M into XRP, put it in a trust, and borrow against it to buy a laundromat, because "if you gotta be a monkey, be a gorilla." Plus: day trading is a hot dog eating contest (Keith explains), Bitcoin's ugly six-month candle, the ISO 20022 coin list from XRP to Hbar, Trump family shitcoin rankings, and yes — the files.