Send us a text

Hello, stepparents and welcome. I am delighted to have you join me today because I had the special privilege of interviewing the fabulous Dr. Patricia paper now, who is the world's leading expert in step parenting and blended family dynamics.

Today's episode will be just part one of my interview with her. I'm so excited to have you join me. Without further ado, here we go ...

Find the FULL transcript for this episode at synergisticstepparenting.com/25.

We are here with the fantastic Dr. Patricia Papernow who integrates a deep understanding of the research with 4 decades of clinical practice and a variety of clinical modalities including psycho-educational, systemic and trauma informed. The recipient of the award for distinguished contribution to family psychology from the APA couple and family division, Dr. Papernow is the author of one of the classic books in the field, Surviving and Thriving in Stepfamily Relationships: What Works and What Doesn’t. And with Karen Bonnell, The Stepfamily Handbook: From Dating, to Getting Serious, to Forming a “Blended Family”. As well as dozens of articles and book chapters. Dr. Papernow is a psychologist in private practice in Hudson, MA, and director of the Institute for Stepfamily Education. We are so excited to speak with you. Clearly, without a doubt you are an expert in this field.

>>[2:12] Dr. Papernow shares her story that brought her to her work.
>>[3:50] What is different about the step family vs. the first-time family?
>>[7:04] In your book you mention noticing cycles for establishing these new connections and rhythms. Can you elaborate on the timeframes for this and the blending of the families?
>>[14.34] StepFamilies Face 5 Key Challenges:

• Insider/Outsider Challenge – When I turn to my partner, my child feels like an outsider. When I turn towards my child, my partner feels like an outsider.
• Kids Feel Differently Than Adults About the Blended Family – kids experience the new relationship as a loss of the parent’s attention. And have a natural loyalty bind – if I like my stepparent, I’m betraying my mom or dad.
• Parenting - tasks in a stepfamily pretty routinely divide parents and stepparents.
• How do we become an us in the presence of Us and Them?
• How do you make it okay for kids to love both of their parents?

>>[15:36] Parental tension and conflict are the biggest predictors of poor well-being in kids.

Links for this show:
Synergistic Stepparenting Podcast

Patricia Papernow

Patricia Papernow LI

Surviving and Thriving in Stepfamily Relationships: What Works and What Doesn’t

The Stepfamily Handbook: From Dating, to Getting Serious, to Forming a “Blended Family”

* Notes: How to leave a review on Apple Podcasts

1. Open the Podcasts app on your iPhone, iPad, or Mac.
2. Navigate to the Synergistic Stepparenting Podcast.
3. On Synergistic Stepparenting Podcast page, scroll down to find the subhead titled “Ratings & Reviews.”
4. Under one of the highlighted reviews, select “Write a Review.” If you like what you hear – give us a