Real World Peaceful Parenting

252: Beyond the Scoreboard: Raising Leaders Through Sports


Listen Later

Parent coach Lisa Smith welcomes Jason Holzer, co-founder of 4D Leaders, for a practical conversation on using sports as a training ground for life. They unpack how to build identity beyond wins and losses, why effort and emotional regulation matter more than trophies, and how parents and coaches can collaborate without eroding trust. You’ll hear concrete ways to handle post-game emotions, navigate playing-time conversations, and support your child’s confidence and autonomy. Whether your kid is a beginner or a varsity standout, this episode shows you how to lead with calm, connection, and clarity—on the sidelines and at home.


What You'll Learn:

  • Identity beyond results: How to separate who your child is from what the scoreboard says, and why focusing on effort, growth, and being a great teammate builds resilience.
  • Regulation over reaction: Scripts and strategies for the car ride home—validate big feelings, ride the wave, and revisit skills later when everyone’s regulated.
  • Smart coach communication: How to approach coaches with curiosity and respect, ask about standards for playing time, and keep the coach–kid relationship intact.
  • Ownership and feedback: Ways to help your child earn opportunity, seek feedback directly from coaches, and build confidence through responsibility.
  • Fun and flow matter: Why play, variety, and relaxation improve performance, and how to pair a relaxed body with best effort for that “in the flow” feeling.
  • Be the fan they want: The golden question—“What kind of fan do you want me to be?”—plus how to update your approach as your child grows and preferences change.
...more
View all episodesView all episodes
Download on the App Store

Real World Peaceful ParentingBy Lisa Smith